mooj

I have a chest infection, PMT and I coughed up blood this morning



The fashion show went swimmingly (gotta love that word!), two more on Friday, ended up doing make up as well as dressing Moot and a couple of the proffesional models along with being general dogsbody person...had so much fun, but you would never realise how much hard work it is for the people behind the scenes, it's fucking manic! The people who have to get the models to the stage at the right time and in the right order are called "screamers"...can you guess why?

oh yeah, the reason the music is always so loud at shows is to cover up the sound of people yelling

"where the fuck are my shoes" "where the fuck is sarah?she needs to be on stage right fucking now!" "MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!!!!!!!!!", "I NEED MORE HAIRSPRAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!"

My head is a bit of a scary place to be right now, partly due to a certain male model who needs to die ....soon (you know who I'm talking about people) so instead of inflicting you with my "issues" I'll inflict you with some lovely Coco Rosie ness

I undressed you with my eyes i have
Maybe even raped you
In a dark and eerie corner of my mind
I tucked you there
And touched you in a dream last night
Pushed you aside when you entered
My thoughts at the wrong time
I have sat up upon your lap and
Saddled my thighs around your hips like ropes
I rode you on a chair and in the shower
And all the while i clung heavy to your back
My desire deeply harnessed in your spine
While I squeezed you like a tree trunk
You may have been one
Sexless and comfort in your mind
Even barer than a child's
I'm riding recklessly through a thick and humid
Jungle growing anxious with the deep and primal
Yearning that stirs
Deeply pulsing up toward the surface
Like sap rising or honey or tar




back to bed now me thinks, I shall hide under my Victoria Plum duvet cover until all the bad things go away cough cough




I can't figure out how to do spoilers so I'll just chuck the whole lot in then shall I?... enjoy

>>1. What do you call a Chav in a box?
> >>Innit.
> >>
> >>2. What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
> >>Sorted
> >>
> >>3. What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
> >>Safe.
> >>
> >>4. What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
> >>Innuinnit.
> >>
> >>5. Why are Chavs like slinkies?
> >>They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a
> >>flight
> >>ofstairs.
> >>
> >>6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
> >>The bride.
> >>
> >>7. You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you
> >>try not
> >>to hit him?
> >>It might be your bike.
> >>
> >>8. What's the difference between a
>Chav and a coconut?
> >>One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
> >>
> >>9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
> >>What you lookin' at?"
> >>
> >>10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
> >>Paint three stripes on it.
> >>
> >>11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
> >>The police
> >>
> >>12. What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's?
> >>A liar.
> >>
> >>13. What do you say to a chav with a job?
> >>Can I have a big mac please
> >>
> >>14. What do you say to a chav in a suit?
> >>Will the defendant please stand
> >>
> >>15. What do u call a knife in chav-ville?
> >>Exhibit A
> >>
> >>16. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?
> >>A Nova seats
>4
> >>
> >>17. What do you call a 30 year old chavette?
> >>Granny.
> >>
> >>18. How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb?
> >>One, they'll screw anything.
> >>
> >>19. What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?
> >>A start.
> >>
> >>20. How many chavs does it take to clean a floor?
> >>None, "That's some uvver fuckers job innit."
> >>
> >>21. Why did the chav take a shower?
> >>He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the
> >>carwash
> >>
> >>22. Why did the Chav cross the road?
> >>To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.
> >>
> >>23. What do you call a Chav at college?
> >>The cleaner.