mooj

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR
Ahoy there landlubbers and smelly pirate hookers

Soory I'm still in pirate mode from the pirate party last night, of course being me I couldn't just go as a pirate....oooh no....Jenny could never just blend in with the crowd ...just aint her "style"

I went as a fucking idiot mermaid didn't I?
Felt like a right twat wandering around in a bikini top with shells stuck to it when everyone else had bandanas and stripy t-shirts on didn't I?
I did come to the conclusion that it is a bad idea to try and ska dance when your top is liable to fall of and your skirt is only held together with staples
In order to stop feeling like I was wandering around half naked I proceeded to drink mr jack mr jim and something disgusting called pirate punch, until I ended up accidentally squirting foundation all over one of glittery mermaid shoes. For the rest of the night I kept telling people that Estee Lauder ejaculated on my foot, HIIIIIIIIIIIGHLY MATURE.

Tanya or Timothy the pirate pimp as she know wishes to be known, thought it would be really funny if she stood behind me at the bar and pulled my top over my head with her pirate hook, embarassing, but at least I got a free drink from each of the barmen,
This morning I woke up with "Pirate Hooker" written in permanent marker down one arm and "John is a fucking cunt" down the other, choicy
Stupid boy doesn't even realise how much I hate him, although Tina did skillfully trip him up on the way to the toilets at one point, yuuuus

If Lyndsey was a man she'd be called Les and be ginger, fat and prematurely balding and would tell his mates he'd slept with girls who he blatantly hadn't
If Scott was a girl he'd be called Eva and listen to Avril Lavigne and wear matching wristbands
If I were a boy I'd be called Jonathan and be too shy to get a girlfreind and I'd listen to Audio Karate and Saves The Day and write stupid songs about girls I fancied but was scared of their boyfreinds

If you weren't you who would you be?

Katy Jane Garside spoke to me in a dream last night
oh no she didn't
oh yes she did

party fun time photo file now contains mermaid/pirate photos for you to laugh at and point out how stupid I look!
I'm such a retard I still can't figure out how to save images on my journal