I think i've had my first truly evil though. i used to think that i was a nice guy and couldn't harm a fly. right now i'm in such a cold murderous mood, i just don't know anymore. i took a percecet to calm me down and help deal with my pain (gout sucks). it has yet to kick in. i cooked some ramen noodles and put excessive amounts of sriracha in it along with thai spice and soy sauce. i'm almost afraid to try it. i need get out of this funk. i need to get out and meet someone new. it just seems that every door i open, gets slammed in my face right now. i do my damnedest to not show how i feel in public or around my friends, so it isn't like i'm not trying to get out and date. i just get shot down too much and i don't know why. fuck it, keep trying, guess it's a trudger's life for me.