True Evil is True Lamness
This was the name of a song that some high school kids were fucking around with one day when we all cut school.
It was one of the few times I was included in anything while I was in HS. I was pretty much a loner in a world full of cliques.
This particular day we were at a kids house down in Southland Park (a pretty ritzie area of Sac). There were 5 or 6 of us as I remember. Some one had a cam-corder and they were shooting videos for a bunch of songs they had written. They air guitared such classics as the aformentioned and Fetus Fondle (feel your unborne child). They let me goof off right along with them.
I'll always remember that song, True Lamness, and that moment. I remember watching the videos later on that day and thinking that there was one kid on tape who was not like the others. Every one else in the room seemed natural. They were funny and they were cool. I just thought that I looked like an ass and forced. I sucked. I was lame.
The moment is rather hard to get away from. I've come along way in confidence since then-a long way indeed, but the memory remains. Consequently, whenever I'm in a room with folks I'm super self consious. I don't want to be lame. I don't want to be evil. I don't want to try too hard. I don't want to fuck up. I don't want to be laughed at unless I'm in on the joke. I don't want to be an attention hog. I don't want to freak people out. I don't want to scare anybody.
Huh, I guess scaring people wouldn't be lame.
Anyway, I had the good fortune to hang out with some of the SGSAC folks tonight. I didn't hang around long, but Greg took a few pics of me.
It felt OK. It felt fine. I hope I was OK. I know I din't freak anyone out, but I hope I wasn't lame. I always worry about that when I'm around you cool folks.
And cool you are. The kids in SGNC and SGSAC, you're the guys that seem natural like you belong there. I think that some of you might find that odd, but it's the way that I see it. So SGSAC, thanks for the good vibes. I hope I see you all again soon.
This was the name of a song that some high school kids were fucking around with one day when we all cut school.
It was one of the few times I was included in anything while I was in HS. I was pretty much a loner in a world full of cliques.
This particular day we were at a kids house down in Southland Park (a pretty ritzie area of Sac). There were 5 or 6 of us as I remember. Some one had a cam-corder and they were shooting videos for a bunch of songs they had written. They air guitared such classics as the aformentioned and Fetus Fondle (feel your unborne child). They let me goof off right along with them.
I'll always remember that song, True Lamness, and that moment. I remember watching the videos later on that day and thinking that there was one kid on tape who was not like the others. Every one else in the room seemed natural. They were funny and they were cool. I just thought that I looked like an ass and forced. I sucked. I was lame.
The moment is rather hard to get away from. I've come along way in confidence since then-a long way indeed, but the memory remains. Consequently, whenever I'm in a room with folks I'm super self consious. I don't want to be lame. I don't want to be evil. I don't want to try too hard. I don't want to fuck up. I don't want to be laughed at unless I'm in on the joke. I don't want to be an attention hog. I don't want to freak people out. I don't want to scare anybody.
Huh, I guess scaring people wouldn't be lame.
Anyway, I had the good fortune to hang out with some of the SGSAC folks tonight. I didn't hang around long, but Greg took a few pics of me.
It felt OK. It felt fine. I hope I was OK. I know I din't freak anyone out, but I hope I wasn't lame. I always worry about that when I'm around you cool folks.
And cool you are. The kids in SGNC and SGSAC, you're the guys that seem natural like you belong there. I think that some of you might find that odd, but it's the way that I see it. So SGSAC, thanks for the good vibes. I hope I see you all again soon.
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Keep in touch man.
I am back, at least for the moment.
Peace.
-Josh