monroe

Oh Jesus.

The trip this weekend was a complete DISASTER.

BUT it was cool because of Jim Beam, my "meth-scratched back" due to rooftop shenanigans, dirty kitchens (yeah RIGHT!), taxidermy, meeting one of Esquire magazine's 5 best dressed real men (seriously!), champagne and a danish BITCH!, being the lost Bundy, and being HATED ON constantly.

I really think a move out of Pittsburgh needs to happen in the not so distant future. I'm trying to get back out there for this show though, at least:

I realized some people's true colors on this trip and I'm glad I did now rather than later. We think you're a joke, shove your hope where it don't shine!

Discussing my need to aquire rapping skills led to me missing our exit. I think it's a sign. A sign that means....

I AM AWESOME.

Right.

If you didn't know, I'm more BALD than awesome now and I LOVE IT. I think I might be allergic to my weave. I'm serious! That shit is itchy!

I am uncle bummerface now that I'm home cause I don't have this jagatron, pictured here with his new woman:

making me grin like I got my grillz in, 24/7 and partaking in complete and utter ridiculousness with me. I HATE EVERYONE. The reality of my life is that I pretty much have two friends. But I'm actually ok with that.

There's a very high possibillity that I may get a very ridiculous and awesome tattoo this weekend. I also think this would be a really excellent tattoo:

I'm a maniac.