monroe

And every night I think I certainly won't ever sleep sober or alone
And then suddenly it occurs to me, I've slept alone before you
So I pour myself the stiffest drink my stomach can stand
And convince myself to lay back down again

I ruined everything. Everything. I can't eat, I can't sleep.

I would do anything--anything--to be given the chance to wake up and see his face on the pillow next to mine in the morning again.

I try to remind myself that's there's a reason I did what I did. I wasn't 100% happy. He wasn't all that good to me. But it still hurts like hell. I hate that now he goes out looking like a fucking martyr now, when I tried to be the perfect girlfriend, when I fucking catered to him for so long and saw so little in return.

I can't accept that this is the end though. I can't imagine my life without him. My world has just caved in. I feel like I'm getting divorced. We've been friends for almost six years, and more than that for three. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you should never fuck your friends.

This fact not fiction
For the first time in years
And all the girls in every girlie magazine
Can't make me feel any less alone
I'm reaching for the phone

To call at 7:03 and on your machine I slur a plea for you to come home
But i know it's too late
I should have given you a reason to stay

Love,
Monroe