I’m looking for a companion for the impending end of the world. They must:-

1) Be able to outrun a zombie horde

2) Able to make weapons from household items

3) Be willing to fight off marauding looters

4) Enjoy moonlit walks along secluded beaches

5) kill or be killed

6) Like cuddles in the kitchen to get things off the ground

7) Be strong like bull

8) Enjoy the ramblings of a troubled mind

9) Be able to endure the horrors of the end of civilisation.

10) Read my vegetable based horror stories

If the answer to all or some of these questions is ‘You son of a bitch, I’m in’ please respond below and I will get back to you in 24 hours accepting your unbreakable friendship as we ride on flaming steeds to the gates of Valhalla or whatever.

Goodbye