Although I lurk in darkness and refuse to go out in the sun I’m in fact just a human that doesn’t tan well.
This next short poem however is about the most famous vampire of all time, Count Chocula!
Begins
Pour on the milk he’s lurking around, covered in chocolate with the nose of a hound
He’s coming to get you, there’s nowhere to run, he knows what that smell is that protrudes from your bum
He smells it and knows deep down in his heart, that the fear of his bite has caused you to fart
Your bowels are now empty, his fangs glisten bright, he’s lunged at your neck and beginning to bite
Your scream it is silent, no sound you emit, the remains of your underwear are covered in shit
You awake in your bed, it was all just dream, you sigh with relief, your smile it beams
Outside a noise you hope is immaterial, but then you hear the words ‘I van’t to eat your cereal’
He’s real and he’s coming, the bed you dismount, the door it flys open...there is the Count!
Ends
I’m quite pleased with this poem, as with my others it was well planned and at no time did I feel like I was forcing in words just to rhyme.
My only concern is that my poems are increasingly festooned with poop references, having shit my pants in my last three outings!
Again if you would like a bespoke poem written about any subject, perhaps to use to enchant a woodland sprite or put a curse on a bastard neighbor, I’m willing to do so free of charge!