monkeymojo

Well my week just started out the most shitty way i can well imagine. I come home from work to find my cat, Raggamuffin hiding in the my closet.. way in the back.. and she was in a bad way, sketched out, covered in urine and floppy like a wet sock. So i rush her to the local Pet E.R., and there is nothing they could do that wouldn't run me in upwards of $5,000, and that would still not have raised her chances over say 25%. Seems she had came down with some kind of massive liver failure.. and worst, on account of that she'd blown a blood clot.. pretty much her mind was gone.. her body was pretty much running on barest autopilot.. it wrecked me, my only option left was euthinasia.. this is the first time i've ever had to make this kind of choice.. i've had pets die on my before, but it's never been put in my hands to make the decision.. so far in my life i have to say this has been the toughest choice i've ever had to make, and certainly has left me fairly bitter at the practiced of e.r. vet offices. I'm just rambling now.. i feel guilty, stressed, pissed and depressed.. also terribly helpless in the fact that i couldn't do anything for her, she was only 7yrs old and i can't imagine how scared she must have felt when she realized there was something wrong with her and she went into my closet to hide and die. Ok, enough of my babble, i'm gonna go back to sitting in a dark room and try to manage these damn crying jags that keeping hitting me.