I'm a loner most of the time...admittedly I don't like being around people very much at all. But there are those few that spark.
VERY few.
I have friends back where I came from, but nobody here yet, really. I don't know what to do about this guy that I met...all I know is that I don't want to move too fast and scare him away, because I've done that pretty much every time I like a guy.
I just know that I am really stressed out right now doing my first project for my first class...and not because the project is too hard or due tomorrow night...it's just that I forgot what it was like having pressure on me to get things done. I used to not care and do a crappy job, but I don't want to do that anymore, and clearly that's going to take more effort than I'm willing to give right now. But I don't have a choice. My brain gets fried, I have to say, well, get used to it. It's not even that bad, like I said and I'm already stressing out. Stupid.
I wanted someone to vent to, to talk to....nobody around yet. And even if there were, I would think that I don't want to bother them. The only person I clicked with is aforementioned guy, and I've only seen him twice, so there's no damn reason for him to get in on my bullshit. Which is exactly what this is, bullshit. Just my stupid brain being stupid because I'm entirely out of my comfort zone. It's probably going to get worse. But my other option is to go back living with my parents in the Midwest and having a crappy job for the rest of my life, instead of following my passion, which is why I came to Florida in the first place.
I love it here. I will do whatever it takes to stay here. This is only a weak moment. There will be a lot more. But the bottom line is that I have to do what I'm supposed to do and too bad, stupid brain. If SG blogging has to be my only outlet for a while, apologies, but so be it.
