monet

I'm so tired. And so mixed up right now. Yeah I don't have a clue of what's going on around me. Priorities? What's that?

I feel lost and like i can't do things for myself. Except for work. I can work, but even there, I've been whining under my breath to go home.

I'll be seeing my therapist on wednesday for the first time all summer. I cut her off cause i thought I was a hard ass, and could take care of this crap by myself. I should've known I'd end up running back. Sucker!

I'm kind of happy though. Because now I'm a whirl of confusion, and I can't wait to see her...like running into her arms to protect me. I know alot of people don't like shrinks. I have a special connection with mine. She's true blue. If I tell her that I can''t handle being nice to my stepmom anymore because she's so mean, my dr. says "So what...f*** her! SHe's a bitch!" Now that's real!

I'm scared, of something, i don't know what it is. i can feel it in my stomach. I wish it would leave me alone.

There's so much I need to do. I can't every remember what it is, until it's too late. Wow that sucks and I've screwed myself over because of it. I'll get better. I promise. I need to go visit my new baby half brother again. When will that happen? I don't know....there's something there that is so unwelcoming. Oh yeah...that would be my stepmom. Sorry about my entry. I really can be happy sometimes. But I don't have the energy today.