I'm not happy, everything feels like fucking shit and I don't know what to do. I just wanna sleep, but I'm not tired. I've lost one of my best friends, she's not dead but she's out of my life and it feels like shit. I'm so tired at myself, either I'm a fucking idiot or the ones around me are. Maybe it's a mixture of both. No one is perfect, I surely know that, but I just keep losing friends. Sure, the ones that has been in my life since 2010 is there through everything, but oh well. I really try to be the best friend I can be but I fucking screw up and mrdlkjmsldjsk fuck it. I HAVE TO stay positive, no one can change this except me. The ones I am losing, well fuck them. When I do something wrong I will try my hardest to change that, but I'm so tired of people not understanding I'm a mess and not like them at all. The ones I care about I will never give up on, but the rest - fuck them.
pointman11:
I am sorry to read of your losing friends. I don't know specifics nor do you need to say, but friends are a two way street of support, honesty, and trust. If they are willing to give up then you are right . Fuck em. If the rift is over piddly shit then you should find friends who look at a larger life. Don't sweat if some friends leave. IT could be for just a short time. I had a friend whom we had a rift for almost ten years. But when he went through a divorce he stayed with me for almost 6 months and it was like those ten years never passed. Be true to you. True friends will be there