Locker room awkwardness:
When I was younger, I really really hated my body. Now that I'm a bit older and hopefully wiser, I dislike some parts of my body but I suppose I don't hate it as much. Let's just call it a form of body dysmorphia. I suppose the tattoos can partially explain it. The tattoos are excellent at altering how the light plays off my body and how it appears in reflections and in the mirror and even in photos. It hides my stretch marks. It hides a lot of things. I love my tattoos but at the same time, I admit that I'm never content with my physical form. I guess it's pretty obvious partly because of the sheer amount of time I spend at the gym. I do enjoy working out and I do work out to improve my abilities in order to achieve a particular goal. Without a goal of potentially fighting, I think I would be less motivated to consistenly go to the gym 5-6 days a week. At my heaviest, I believe I was at 145 lbs at 5'2". At my lightest, I was 108 but I realize that I was too skinny (I lost a lot of weight after 2 years of constant tattooing and tattoo removal + stomach brandings and a few big piercings in between). During school, I've hovered around 135 but felt like I was lugging around too much extra weight.
Now that I'm upstate for my school rotation site, I've been relegated to a NYSC. I hate regular gyms. They're boring, tedious, tiresome, and full of meatheads on anabolic steroids. I value speed, flexibility, explosiveness, and mobility far more than I value being ripped or super muscular - it's a question of functionality over appearance.
Anyway, being in suburbia and being so extensively tattooed is an interesting experience. Every day at NYSC someone asks me questions or talks to their friends loud enough for me to hear (eg, are those stockings) or stops to stare at me. Most of the experiences have been pleasant but it still amazes me to hear someone tell me that "I've seen people like you on television but I've never met anyone who has so many tattoos." What are "people like me" supposed to be? Like the people on Miami Ink or Inked? I consider myself predominantly normal - I'm a homebody, I bought a 3 bedroom co-op apartment in Brooklyn 4 years ago with money I saved from working my ass off, I'm earning a second degree, I work in health care, I don't drink or do drugs, I enjoy cuddling time with my dogs, I read a lot, and I study a lot and I happen to enjoy contact sports. My life is very routine in many aspects.
Do you ever feel abnormal?
When I was younger, I really really hated my body. Now that I'm a bit older and hopefully wiser, I dislike some parts of my body but I suppose I don't hate it as much. Let's just call it a form of body dysmorphia. I suppose the tattoos can partially explain it. The tattoos are excellent at altering how the light plays off my body and how it appears in reflections and in the mirror and even in photos. It hides my stretch marks. It hides a lot of things. I love my tattoos but at the same time, I admit that I'm never content with my physical form. I guess it's pretty obvious partly because of the sheer amount of time I spend at the gym. I do enjoy working out and I do work out to improve my abilities in order to achieve a particular goal. Without a goal of potentially fighting, I think I would be less motivated to consistenly go to the gym 5-6 days a week. At my heaviest, I believe I was at 145 lbs at 5'2". At my lightest, I was 108 but I realize that I was too skinny (I lost a lot of weight after 2 years of constant tattooing and tattoo removal + stomach brandings and a few big piercings in between). During school, I've hovered around 135 but felt like I was lugging around too much extra weight.
Now that I'm upstate for my school rotation site, I've been relegated to a NYSC. I hate regular gyms. They're boring, tedious, tiresome, and full of meatheads on anabolic steroids. I value speed, flexibility, explosiveness, and mobility far more than I value being ripped or super muscular - it's a question of functionality over appearance.
Anyway, being in suburbia and being so extensively tattooed is an interesting experience. Every day at NYSC someone asks me questions or talks to their friends loud enough for me to hear (eg, are those stockings) or stops to stare at me. Most of the experiences have been pleasant but it still amazes me to hear someone tell me that "I've seen people like you on television but I've never met anyone who has so many tattoos." What are "people like me" supposed to be? Like the people on Miami Ink or Inked? I consider myself predominantly normal - I'm a homebody, I bought a 3 bedroom co-op apartment in Brooklyn 4 years ago with money I saved from working my ass off, I'm earning a second degree, I work in health care, I don't drink or do drugs, I enjoy cuddling time with my dogs, I read a lot, and I study a lot and I happen to enjoy contact sports. My life is very routine in many aspects.
Do you ever feel abnormal?
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
ricksnake:
All the time! Some days I wish I could just take off ALL of my tattoos and walk through a store without anyone looking at me or stareing. I do have some good ones but most are shitty! I've got a lot of laser to go through till I guess I might be happy with myself. Sucks when you learn the difference between a good tattoo and a bad one!
ricksnake:
The laser I had on my neck I had it zapped 3 times and then covered maybe a year later and I think the laser still makes the area break up the ink even after a year (well so far with me that's what happened ) maybe it was the tattoo artist that did it but I do need touch up! Has that ever happened to you?