Current mood: Bi-Polar
I don't think of it so much as a rat race. A race implies a purpose, the rat a creature that survives and thrives despite our best efforts. I think it's more like a hamster in a wheel. Round and round we go, we earn it, we spend it, we earn it, we spend it
I never thought I could do this. Shuffle nose to back with the masses. When I look around, I am sweeping along in a sea of black, grey, navy, anything dark, I notice that olive green is evidently de rigueur with the rebellious hamster this season, it's what the few with an inner crazy kid are wearing, something just a little different. There's the odd runt like me. I got sick of being defined by my haircut, so I am without dreadlocks. So instead I slap on red lipstick, polka dot ribbons, defeating the whole object of my style change, sacrificing my anonymity in the crowd. People are still drawing instant conclusions from the way I look. I'm mostly used to it.
Tuesday I sat at the tube station when the guy next to me shouted 'Shit!' and promptly began muttering and rummaging in his bag. He relaxed when he found his torch and shone it in my face as I tried to keep a straight face, ignore him and read my book!! I love nutters. Wednesday, I got pushed onto the train and as my face neared my fellow passengers the pushing didn't stop. I tried to get a footing and pushed right back against the crowd and realised I was in a mosh pit on a train! Thursday, packed in like sardines, the guy next to me lost his footing as the tube juddered to a halt, raised his arm and squished my right breast. The poor guy was mortified. I think I'll get the bus tonight...
A sweet internet buddy, a beautiful, compassionate lady messaged me, saying when she needs someone to talk to she thinks of me, which made my heart smile. I am feeling better, I'm still close to teetering on the edge, crashing down, hormones and adrenaline racing through my body. I've been feeling insecure and low. I trust my instincts more than I show, they are usually spot on. Cryptic? You betcha, there are things that don't belong in the blog of a full-grown woman... I have people in my life who give as well as take and it's helping.
Something was stuck in my shoe this morning, digging in my foot. It was a glitter love heart.
I don't think of it so much as a rat race. A race implies a purpose, the rat a creature that survives and thrives despite our best efforts. I think it's more like a hamster in a wheel. Round and round we go, we earn it, we spend it, we earn it, we spend it
I never thought I could do this. Shuffle nose to back with the masses. When I look around, I am sweeping along in a sea of black, grey, navy, anything dark, I notice that olive green is evidently de rigueur with the rebellious hamster this season, it's what the few with an inner crazy kid are wearing, something just a little different. There's the odd runt like me. I got sick of being defined by my haircut, so I am without dreadlocks. So instead I slap on red lipstick, polka dot ribbons, defeating the whole object of my style change, sacrificing my anonymity in the crowd. People are still drawing instant conclusions from the way I look. I'm mostly used to it.
Tuesday I sat at the tube station when the guy next to me shouted 'Shit!' and promptly began muttering and rummaging in his bag. He relaxed when he found his torch and shone it in my face as I tried to keep a straight face, ignore him and read my book!! I love nutters. Wednesday, I got pushed onto the train and as my face neared my fellow passengers the pushing didn't stop. I tried to get a footing and pushed right back against the crowd and realised I was in a mosh pit on a train! Thursday, packed in like sardines, the guy next to me lost his footing as the tube juddered to a halt, raised his arm and squished my right breast. The poor guy was mortified. I think I'll get the bus tonight...
A sweet internet buddy, a beautiful, compassionate lady messaged me, saying when she needs someone to talk to she thinks of me, which made my heart smile. I am feeling better, I'm still close to teetering on the edge, crashing down, hormones and adrenaline racing through my body. I've been feeling insecure and low. I trust my instincts more than I show, they are usually spot on. Cryptic? You betcha, there are things that don't belong in the blog of a full-grown woman... I have people in my life who give as well as take and it's helping.
Something was stuck in my shoe this morning, digging in my foot. It was a glitter love heart.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
Hair