"I don't know why people call taking a shit Number Twos. In my opinion, it's easily Number One." - Louis CK
Courtesy is a valuable, but dying, artform. Try these to bring courtesy back into your day and get an unexpected smile out of someone you care about.
Here's etiquette for the modern toilet.
1. Wish them a 'great stream' if they are going for a wee.
2. Congratulate them and ask them questions about their experience when they come back out of the toilet. Maybe give them a quick survey and ask them to rate their time out of ten ( feedback is important for improvement ).
3. Slide magazines and newspapers under the door while they are mid deuce. Halfway through a crap is a great time to get up to speed on developments in the Middle East or find out about this summer's catwalk trends.
4. Knock on the door politely to check on their progress. Ask if they need assistance.