moiread

Mood: Incredibly alone & heartsick
Music: Thom Yorke, Sia, Hoobastank
Reading: Danse Macabre
Watching: A Scanner Darkly
Eat/Drink: Reeses

Both the Pink Floyd influenced instrumentals and the lyrics of this song hit me very deeply.

.....
Hoobastank More Than A Memory

I've become tired
Of Wasting my time
Thinkin' bout choices
That I've made
Cuz I can't move forward
While looking behind
The only thing I can do now
Is change the way
That I use to be
Cuz now it seems
Crystal clear to me

Cuz you're so much more
Than a memory
Cuz you're so much more
Than a memory

It wasn't fair
For me just to go
Act like I knew what you've been though
Cuz I wasn't there
And I'll never know
Couldn't see from
Your point of view
But I'm doing all I can
For you to see
That I understand
That I understand

You're so much more
Than a memory
Cuz you're so much more
Than a memory
So don't close the door
On what still can be
Cuz you're so much more
Than a memory

Please don't go
Cuz I finally know
That the past is gone
I know that I was wrong
I was wrong

You're so much more
Than a memory
Cuz you're so much more
Than a memory
So don't close the door
On still what can be
Cuz you're so much more
Than a memory

Please don't go
Cuz I finally know
That the past is gone
And I know that I was wrong

Please don't go
Cuz I finally know
That the past is gone
And I know that I was wrong
I was wrong

......

There are some lessons that we learn in an untimely fashion, and those that we learn right away. The former are the ones that will kill you inside, cut a deep deep gash and then fester. The biggest struggle is figuring out how to keep the wound clean and let it heal.

......
Sia Butterflies

We've been to the top, we've been to the bottom
We've known everything and forgotten, yeah

You've kicked me around, you've wrapped me in cotton
You've carried our load, and you've shot 'em

Oh yes the butterflies are still there
Oh yes the butterflies are still there

We've argued by the baggage claim
We've accepted and we've laid blame
We've drank Sangthip in monsoonal rain
We've felt separate and felt the same

Oh yes the butterflies are still there
Oh yes the butterflies are still there
Oh yes the butterflies are still there
Oh yes the butterflies are still there

We've shared joy and we've shared pain
We've shared guilt and we've shared shame
We've bought into the stupid games
We've freed each other and we laid claim

Oh yes the butterflies are still there
Oh yes the butterflies are still there
Oh yes the butterflies are still there
Oh yes the butterflies are still there

Because we came from the same cocoon

.....

There is a reason that arguments come to easy. Its that we are so similar, and hate to see our flaws in each other. The hardest part is recognizing those flaws and fixing them, and then trying to make good with your changes. You have to try to make good with changes that weren't there when you needed them and that may not give you what you want most. But you have to do it anyway, to be better. If not for now, then for next time.