modvayne

I haven't been in a writing mood lately, but I figure it's time to write something anyway. I went to the doctor recently, and he sent me for a test to check for nerve damage. With a little luck something will turn up so I can find a way to reduce the pain I live with daily. The thought of having something implanted in my body scares me to death, but I'll do anything to stop hurting after almost 5 years. I find it hard to believe that January will be 5 years that I've lived with and dealt with this pain. I've been on so many different medications to try to help with it, but nothing really does. I'm generally not one to complain or to allow anything to dictate my life, but I have had people actually say that they don't know how I can deal with it for so long. To be honest, I don't know how I've dealt with it for so long. I've always been a fighter, that's apparent when I could have easily given up and never walked again at all. I've also always had a high tolerance to pain, meaning that what would be agony for someone else is an annoyance for me. So when I say that I'm in pain, it means that most would have done something drastic by that time. In all honesty, I have been at the point of doing something drastic at times, and it scares me to know that. While I never made it through it, all one has to do is think about the first Saw film to know what I'm talking about. I couldn't actually do it myself, but I have considered it more than once.