I basically feel really horrible right now. I've continued to have stomach problems and on top of that have had a lot of work to do from school. I just had midterms two weeks ago but already I have had a test in all of my classes to study for except for one.
I went to see the cartoonist Don Hertzfeldt last night, which was fun but honestly sometimes I hate being around my boyfriends' friends because I don't have anything to say to them really and I basically get ignored. I sat and read a book until the show started. And then today my boyfriend wanted me to go to Music Box Massacre but I really cant spend from 12 noon until 9am tomorrow watching movies. I have two tests to study for, I need to sleep, and I need to get groceries.
I haven't hung out with MY friends since last Sunday. I spend more time with my boyfriend than anyone else and almost all of that time is also spent with his friends. I went to Max Payne on Wednesday even though I have absolutely no interest in it because he really wanted to see it, which is fine but I want to actually spend time alone with him and I've only gotten to maybe three times in the past month.
I don't know. I feel like I make a lot of effort to be with him and make him happy but it's not enough. I feel like crying right now because I'm busting my ass to do well in school and make him happy. And I've done REALLY well in school so far but I don't feel like he's happy with me. Maybe I'm not right for him. I've been told by a lot of people that we're a weird couple and we don't fit and it makes me think maybe people think that because he's nice and outgoing and I'm quiet and people see me as being a bitch.
I don't know. It's hard to handle this right now as I've been feeling really restless and depressed lately.
I don't really know what to do anymore.
I feel really compelled to go to study abroad. Usually I worry about leaving my boy and I do but I feel like at this point he just doesn't care. I miss romance and I just need to be able to go do something so I feel less restless. I'm considering going to Aix-en-Province for a three week intensive course.
Sorry for such a sad post, especially since I haven't been posting much lately. I just feel really blah and I need to purge.
I went to see the cartoonist Don Hertzfeldt last night, which was fun but honestly sometimes I hate being around my boyfriends' friends because I don't have anything to say to them really and I basically get ignored. I sat and read a book until the show started. And then today my boyfriend wanted me to go to Music Box Massacre but I really cant spend from 12 noon until 9am tomorrow watching movies. I have two tests to study for, I need to sleep, and I need to get groceries.
I haven't hung out with MY friends since last Sunday. I spend more time with my boyfriend than anyone else and almost all of that time is also spent with his friends. I went to Max Payne on Wednesday even though I have absolutely no interest in it because he really wanted to see it, which is fine but I want to actually spend time alone with him and I've only gotten to maybe three times in the past month.
I don't know. I feel like I make a lot of effort to be with him and make him happy but it's not enough. I feel like crying right now because I'm busting my ass to do well in school and make him happy. And I've done REALLY well in school so far but I don't feel like he's happy with me. Maybe I'm not right for him. I've been told by a lot of people that we're a weird couple and we don't fit and it makes me think maybe people think that because he's nice and outgoing and I'm quiet and people see me as being a bitch.
I don't know. It's hard to handle this right now as I've been feeling really restless and depressed lately.
I don't really know what to do anymore.
I feel really compelled to go to study abroad. Usually I worry about leaving my boy and I do but I feel like at this point he just doesn't care. I miss romance and I just need to be able to go do something so I feel less restless. I'm considering going to Aix-en-Province for a three week intensive course.
Sorry for such a sad post, especially since I haven't been posting much lately. I just feel really blah and I need to purge.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
and you should maybe look into seeing a doctor for the stomach thing?
Whatever. a lot of relationships don't make sense fomr the outside, only if you are in it. relaitonships work if you are the same on things, the opposite on things, or the same on some and opposites on the others...but no in the middle. if people say you don't work because you are opposites? whatever opposites attract.
this means a lot, cause I'm not a relationsip kind of guy and normally argue for the downfall of all relationships.