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mnkyknifefghtr

Exeter, NH

Member Since 2005

Followers 9 Following 20

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Saturday Mar 12, 2005

Mar 12, 2005
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Just got back from GDC 2005 in SanFran, really nice city. There's a great club called the Cat Club there that has a rockin 80s night. There was aparantly a GDC party that had some SGs there, only I heard there was like one girl, and since it was a GDC party there were like 200 guys. I picked 80s night instead where there were like 180 girls and 140 guys...and they weren't all a bunch of gamedevs. The show itself went great, met a few people out of the other major online community I hang out at and got to see a few friends from the industry.

Had an interesting conversation on the way back with my good friend and co-worker about some girl-stuff that happened while down there. The long and short of it was about attachment. He was out with a girl and she went outside to smoke and when he went out she was talking to another guy and so he felt threatened, and something of the same vein happened to me also. Kind of interesting what our minds hold on to and what we unconsously rate as "important". I decided, later, that this was a side effect of a kind of arrogance. For some reason I thought that my plan was better than the way that the universe was working, and that's why I was uncomfortable, or bothered, or threatened by stuff like this.

The whole thing is just beyond rediculous, because, firstly, it's not something I could control...and even if I could, why would I want to. If I had control over a lot of things that I thought I should have had control over in my life, I am positive that my life would be way worse. Many times, looking back, I thought I knew what I wanted and thought that if things could only work out *this* way, everything would be better. In reality, there is no way I could have possibly orchistrated, myself, the events that led to me getting to the current place in my life. The solution is that I just need to keep reminding myself that I don't write the script, and even if I could, I really shouldn't.

Anything that happens, happens.
Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.
Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.
It doesnt necessarily do it in chronological order, though.
-Douglas Adams

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