Hey guys.. hah! I've been less and less on the update kinda deal.. but im always keeping an eye on you.. MUhahahhah!! so dont do anything baaaad mmmkaaay?
buh! whatever.. just do it!
haha
I know this has been done like a zillion times but here it goes:
Alright, ask me anything about me... anything.. i dont care..
Here is something about Italians...
Why do Italians hate Jevoha's Witnesses?
-Because Italians hate all witnesses.
Do you know why most men from Italy are named Tony?
- Beacause on the boat to America they put a sticker on them that said- TO NY.
You know you're Italian when....You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.
You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit two capiccola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag.
Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.
You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or on the same block. All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother....
You are on the first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.
You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.
If someone in your family grows beyond 5'9", It is presumed his mother had an affair.
There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.
You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.
ttyl
!
Edited to say:
And you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when......
You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00 p.m
Christmas Eve........only fish.
Your mom's meatballs are the best.
You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.
Clear plastic covers on all the furniture.
You know how to pronounce "manicotti" and "mozzarella"
You fight over whether its called "sauce" or "gravy"
You've called someone a "mamaluke"
And you understand "bada bing".
Ciao FUCKERS!
buh! whatever.. just do it!
haha
I know this has been done like a zillion times but here it goes:
Alright, ask me anything about me... anything.. i dont care..
Here is something about Italians...
Why do Italians hate Jevoha's Witnesses?
-Because Italians hate all witnesses.
Do you know why most men from Italy are named Tony?
- Beacause on the boat to America they put a sticker on them that said- TO NY.
You know you're Italian when....You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.
You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit two capiccola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag.
Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.
You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or on the same block. All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother....
You are on the first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.
You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.
If someone in your family grows beyond 5'9", It is presumed his mother had an affair.
There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.
You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.
ttyl
!
Edited to say:
And you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when......
You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00 p.m
Christmas Eve........only fish.
Your mom's meatballs are the best.
You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.
Clear plastic covers on all the furniture.
You know how to pronounce "manicotti" and "mozzarella"
You fight over whether its called "sauce" or "gravy"
You've called someone a "mamaluke"
And you understand "bada bing".
Ciao FUCKERS!
VIEW 25 of 63 COMMENTS
Can you get American microwvable pizza there? If so that's VERY funny.
1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions.
4. Only in America...do people order double cheese burgers, a large order of fries and a DIET COKE.
5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well. "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures."
10. Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Last but not least:
11. Only in America can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House.
And moreAmerican Jokes here.