Most people have periods in their life where things are uncertain either with their career or their family or their love life. At this moment, in my case it is all of them... the crossroads is such that the paths are as infinite as I could imagine... and there is something overwhelming and worrisome but also incredibly liberating in a way... since I don't know which way things will go in the future I have made peace with this temporary uncertainty and have forced myself to live in the moment...
Very shortly after I returned from St. John I was ecstatic that my sister was able to visit for 3 weeks... 2 days after she arrived I received news that my grandmother had suffered a stroke and very soon after passed away... it is impossible to conceive how I would have been able to survive this without my sister here... it is comforting to know that at least for the next couple of weeks my goal is to enjoy every moment with her although I am already dreading her departure knowing that i will miss her voice in the air, holding her little hand when watching movies, her sweet and utterly honest smile and contagious laughter that manages to elevate anything positive about my day... she brings me happiness in the most basic of ways and i am so grateful for each second... after April 19th i don't know where anything will stand but for right now this simple purpose fuels me and that is ok with me... it may seem trivial but I have been so removed from my family unit for 8 years now and this is a gift that is very special to me... feeling like i belong again... where the fact that i am in a foreign place become somehow forgotten...
these words sound inadequate and simplistic, but i find that whenever the practical aspects of life overwhelm me i have less time with my thoughts and theories making for some extremely uninteresting prose...
Very shortly after I returned from St. John I was ecstatic that my sister was able to visit for 3 weeks... 2 days after she arrived I received news that my grandmother had suffered a stroke and very soon after passed away... it is impossible to conceive how I would have been able to survive this without my sister here... it is comforting to know that at least for the next couple of weeks my goal is to enjoy every moment with her although I am already dreading her departure knowing that i will miss her voice in the air, holding her little hand when watching movies, her sweet and utterly honest smile and contagious laughter that manages to elevate anything positive about my day... she brings me happiness in the most basic of ways and i am so grateful for each second... after April 19th i don't know where anything will stand but for right now this simple purpose fuels me and that is ok with me... it may seem trivial but I have been so removed from my family unit for 8 years now and this is a gift that is very special to me... feeling like i belong again... where the fact that i am in a foreign place become somehow forgotten...
these words sound inadequate and simplistic, but i find that whenever the practical aspects of life overwhelm me i have less time with my thoughts and theories making for some extremely uninteresting prose...
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I know exactly what you are talking about. I live my life with an aura of uncertainty about it. I revel in that. It is extremely liberating, the whole world is potentionally open to you with no limits. It's wonderful (most of the time anyways).
Live for the moment, for you may not have that moment in the future.
Carpe Diem!