I nicknamed myself "Bail' once because i had a habit of leaving right the second before things would get good. I would line up something to happen and then leave right before reaping what i had sewn.
It's been 5 years ago this month that i came to New York and so much has happened to me and frankly so little. These thoughts are a little depressing, but one ofthe main problems in moving to nyc is that you can easily lose sight of all of those things that you came for in the first place.
I swore off music and moved up here with a girl i though that i would probably end up marrying to work at my dream job. Sounds great. Since then the dream job closed, she moved home, and i'm in a band. I had all along envisioned myself being an art director at a graphic design company by now who's life was boring and bland.
I'm basically cruising along in a convienence job while i get ready for another tour with the band. I'm freshly and nervously out of a long term relationship. My birthday is coming up and it's only going to underline the fact that my life hasn't changed at all for the past few years. I've just watched all of the self investments that wear away.
The only thing that i can say is that i've quit smoking for 9 months now. I've gained a lot of weight this year. It's not from quitting smoking as much as it is from beer and benge eating everytime that i'm feeling worried about my health or just bored.
Everyone says "i need to do this, i need to do that." I actually did what i had set out to do years ago. Maybe it's time to hit the hard road again with my career and love and life. I'm not sure if that means leaving the city, moving into another apartment, or just getting a new jacket and working on my portfolio. I wish i knew or it was clearer. I'd hate to "bail" again before it gets good, but on the other hand, I had to bail from something to get here in the first place.
It's been 5 years ago this month that i came to New York and so much has happened to me and frankly so little. These thoughts are a little depressing, but one ofthe main problems in moving to nyc is that you can easily lose sight of all of those things that you came for in the first place.
I swore off music and moved up here with a girl i though that i would probably end up marrying to work at my dream job. Sounds great. Since then the dream job closed, she moved home, and i'm in a band. I had all along envisioned myself being an art director at a graphic design company by now who's life was boring and bland.
I'm basically cruising along in a convienence job while i get ready for another tour with the band. I'm freshly and nervously out of a long term relationship. My birthday is coming up and it's only going to underline the fact that my life hasn't changed at all for the past few years. I've just watched all of the self investments that wear away.
The only thing that i can say is that i've quit smoking for 9 months now. I've gained a lot of weight this year. It's not from quitting smoking as much as it is from beer and benge eating everytime that i'm feeling worried about my health or just bored.
Everyone says "i need to do this, i need to do that." I actually did what i had set out to do years ago. Maybe it's time to hit the hard road again with my career and love and life. I'm not sure if that means leaving the city, moving into another apartment, or just getting a new jacket and working on my portfolio. I wish i knew or it was clearer. I'd hate to "bail" again before it gets good, but on the other hand, I had to bail from something to get here in the first place.
Hella sucks but I know how you feel.