miyu

Well........sigh~....tonight sucked and I'm thinking of just going to bed so that it is over that much quicker. I went to this town dance performance tonight. It went for the kids because they always work so hard but believe it or not even though I'm a dancer, I feel like the alien there. In this case it was twenty fold. It came crashing into me how very different my art art is and how this town would probably shit their pants if they saw it. I'd blow their minds and who knows what would happen afterwards. I'm not even saying that I think that my performance is even that mind blowing but it well beyond the realm of what these folks are used to.
On top of that I had to give my kid shit at the end when everyone was leaving which was very embarrassing to me. My son has been going to dance performances before he could even walk. He knows how to behave. However, he got hooked up with one of his "buddies" and they started kicking pop bottles around. I wanted to die. Here's the "dancer's kid" acting like a putz. ANYWHERE but at the this.
I also realized that it won't matter that I live in the same town, shop at the same stores, teach all their kids, smile, work hard, a son who plays with all their kids....it won't matter. I might as well be on another planet. It's a very lonely place to be. At least if there were places to go and things to do maybe I wouldn't feel so bad?

Why does the trade off have to be so huge when you choose to follow the road less travelled?

I need a vacation so bad it hurts. I would kill to pull Aleks out of school right now. Wouldn't that be just the be all and end all!!!!

I've got to do my damndest to reconnect with other artists or something.

What I wouldn't give to curl up in someone's arms under a blankie at this moment right now!

Being the tough one sometimes really sucks ass.