miyabi_sama

I often wonder if people on here that I've met think I'm a snob or a flake or both because I'm hardly ever on here. It's not my fault really. Everytime I start to spend time on here I just get depressed because I never get to see anyone. Money troubles and scheduling conflicts always fucking every plan up. I love you all and miss you all immensely. Seems like the only time I change my journal is because I feel down. I want to get dressed up and go dancing but even here at home that's a difficult proposition, mainly just because we don't have a car ( walking isn't an option because I don't want to put up with all the shit I would get for being dressed the way I would) I miss dancing sooo much. Part of this mood probably has to do with me trying to cut down on my thc in take, withdrawls maybe, um sort of. I still haven't been painting, what the fuck is it going to take for me to get off my lazy ass and stop wasting my fucking life. I feel fat and ugly. FUCK.