mistresst

Life lines broken
Heart lines steady
But those hands
Can't be read
Callous fingers
Won't be gloved
Against my fire.

Soft shoulder slow
Cold shoulder turn
But this body
Isn't new
Bruised body
Won't be trusted
To love you alone.

I birthed a tear I hadn't known
Of quiet humility
For lust of flesh that's
Lust for breath.
Not indulgent in blind desire
I wept to you
That I had found home
On another bed
And you were there
At the foot
Smiling your mouth
You were
Scarring my wounds
I was
Bleeding your heart
Now unsure I crawl back
To renewed you
Wondering what...
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I beat myself then
To conquer self-love
With self-loath.
I ate my heart out
To purge my strength
To binge on guilt.
I fucked myself raw
With toys of fear
In selfish harems.

I ate fingernails for breakfast
I cut hair for a living
I built forts in the bathtub

To hide
From a world
That would have me
As I am

I'm gonna be a Suicide Girl, bitches!