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mistressrory

Sweden

Member Since 2003

Followers 72 Following 64

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Friday Feb 27, 2004

Feb 27, 2004
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It seems like everyone is in a good mood today but me. I was gonna write about my night last night....but I will just say this. For most of the night I was very unhappy and not having a good time. It wasn't the company I was in or the place....or even the entertainment that was making me sad. It was other things that I keep thinking about. I just can't shake this icky feeling. I started feeling so bad at work today that they sent me home. I keep listening to this sad sad song over and over and crying. I have been doing this for 2 days now. I wish things were different....I wish someone that I really like would pay attention to me....I wish I could tell him all the fears that are going around my head....I don't want to scare him. If I was a complete heartless bitch I would have called him up already and told him what I thought was happening to me and him....cuz if I am right his life is about to change as much as mine is. I need to stop drinking until I get the results of what I am thinking. I just hope he is ready for this.

I threw up this morning after I ate a bunch of fruit roll ups....I was suprised at all the colors. I know..ewwww don't talk about puking. But it totally reinforced the thoughts I have been having. I am throwing out so many clues....if you guys don't get what I am talking about I will be very worried about you guys. I need someone to come and dance for me and cheer me up. I am so ashamed of my body lately. I don't know how I can get naked at all....I want to make everyone blind so they don't see how ugly I really am.

I don't think my face is ugly. I think my body is very ugly.

Just so I don't get comments like "omg what are you talking about!!" Everyone is allowed to have their insecurities!



UPDATE~
I talked to my friend today...His dad was in the hospital because he blacked out while skiing. His dad is gonna be ok....I had a good talk with him and I am feeling a bit better about everything ....if I end up being...you know....I have a lot of people who will help me out. I don't think I really need to worry.
i love you all!
Allthe nice comments made me smile when I really needed to. Keep em coming I love reading them all...I try to respond to all of them.....You guys are the best EVER!
love kiss
VIEW 22 of 22 COMMENTS
mle:
i dont mind... sorry i didnt reply lastnight. talk to you soon! ~mle
Feb 28, 2004
loismustdie:
hmmmmmm....
like i said before, i'll buy you baby stuff if you are... but, i think you are just worrying about something that may not even be happening... just try to settle down because, if you are, stress can hurt the baby... and if you aren't, then there's no point in making yourself sick... just slow down take deep breaths and try to keep your mind on things that make you happy... it's hard (believe me, i know!) but you need to try and do it... and i think you are beautiful...

and if i lived in canada, i'd come dance naked for you to cheer you up...
biggrin

hehe
much love
kiss
Feb 28, 2004

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