My indiscretion with the oh-so-unattractive owner of the aforementioned dive bar last Friday has given me new, although perhaps somewhat twisted, perspective. It made me realize or perhaps really only remember again what Ive known all along that performing random, anonymous sex acts doesnt really phase me in the least and perhaps, this is a clue to my true calling in life. To clarify: If I can let some fat, smelly, fairly hairy and unattractive man stick his finger up my ass for no good reason other than I was really just bored, and not gag out of utter repulsion when I take his sweaty and not very sizeable cock into my mouth, perhaps there is a lucrative future in this for me.
For those of you who havent yet sold yourselves out to the utter evil of premium channel television, HBO has a documentary series called America Undercover which treats viewers to in-depth explorations of such compelling subjects like forensic autopsies, the lives of Vegas showgirls, and my personal favorite, the working girls of the famed Moonlite Bunny Ranch. Some of you may actually recall that this fine Nevada establishment was once the subject of a Real World-esque series some time ago (also on HBO) imaginatively called Cathouse. Well, Cathouse II: Back in the Saddle brings us up to date on the comings and goings of some of our favorite Bunny Babes (see Isabella Soprano on the Bunny Ranch site for my personal pick) and their admirers (read: johns). You get the idea: Twenty or so hookers picked to live in a brothel and have their lives taped this is what happens when the sex stops being nice and starts getting real.
At any rate, of course, all of the girls featured in this show are beautiful, interesting and hyper-sexual and rave on and on about how much they love their jobs at the Bunny Ranch and how much they make. Face it, the fat, disgruntled $50 an hour, crack-addicted tricks (if they even exists at an establishment as high-end as the Bunny Ranch), would never be allowed to participate in such a savvy marketing ploy. I mean, you just wouldnt use a Dodge Neon to sell a Jaguar, now would you? So of course, I have fallen for the lure of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch hook, line and sinker.
Now, before you get on your morality soapboxes and wag your fingers (of the free hand that isnt preparing yourself for another load-blowing self-love session whilst reading my journal) at how such a nice, educated feminist like myself could ever subject herself to such utter exploitation, think on this: if someone is going to pay me potentially $1,000+ an hour to fuck and suck him/her in the safest of circumstances, who is really the one being exploited here? The defense rests, your honor.
Anyhow, back to my master (or shall I say mistress) plan. Im thinking, perhaps I need not give up this non-profit gig that I rather enjoy but make shit money at all I really need to do is get a legitimate gig for a few days a month at a place like the Bunny Ranch to augment my income. And yes, folks, I do have my standards, so there will be no whoring myself underneath the L train trestle (sorry to disappoint you local folks); although clearly, whoring myself in the storage room of crappy dives isnt completely out of the question.
With all that said, I cant help but to wonder if anonymous sex were to become a job, would I not enjoy it as much. Case in point: I used to train horses (which really has served me quite well in the BDSM scene). Now, up until the point that I turned pro, I couldnt get enough of horses. Then magically, once horses became my job, I found myself wishing for a job that didnt involve waking up at the crack of dawn in freezing cold weather, smelling like shit (literally) all day long, or riding until my ass hurt (you know, with the exception of waking up at the crack of dawn, working with horses is indeed a lot like the BDSM scene). At any rate, I havent been on a horse since 1997-ish. But I digress so the long and short (preference being for the former) of turning pro is that even if sex utterly bored me, the hefty paycheck would be a consolation. After all, Ive literally had sex (for free!) so boring that Ive made phone calls during the act. And long distance, even.
But the even more burning question is if the prospect of prostitution (albeit legal) is this enticing to me, will I ever get to a point in my life where I can have normal sex again and enjoy it? I mean, as far back as I can remember, Ive always pushed the envelope of my sexuality and I get concerned about how long and how far I can push these limits. To illustrate, here is a brief overview of my sexual development:
- I began my sexual exploration at the ripe old age of 8, an age when most girls still thought boys had cooties, with the help of three childhood friends (I always had a thing for group sex). Although actual penile-vaginal intercourse evaded us, nothing else did and I cam remember being ten years old and relieved to learn we were moving because our sexual games were getting so far advanced that I was actually becoming afraid of what might happen next.
- At 13, when most girls in my cohort were dealing with their first periods (the miracle of menarche revealed herself to me at 11) and first crushes, I became well-versed in the ancient art of fellatio and became a favorite with the high-school boys because of my large breasts.
- At 15, when most girls I knew were for the first time considering losing their virginity, I came out as a lesbian and fucked any woman that would part her thighs for me (my tastes ran the gamut from the Harvard-bound Salutatorian to a 28 year-old boss.
- At 18, I moved to the Bay Area for college and when most women were experimenting with lesbianism, I became obsessed with vibrators, phone sex and XXX movie houses.
- At 21, when the stigma of being gay finally started to be chipped away at, I decided I should fuck men as well, and I made up for lost time.
- At 24, it was the dawn of the age of the Internet and I joined AOL and phone sex, cyber sex and one-night stands became accessible at the drop of an E-mail.
- At 28, I found something lacking in conventional sex gay or straight - and turned to BDSM as a means of supplementation.
So, that brings us up to now. I am nearing 30, my sexual needs and desires as ever-present as ever, and really, what is there left to do? Granted, I still have a fantasy or two that has gone unfulfilled (perhaps for my 30th birthday Ill get that double-penetration scene Ive been wanting), and new opportunities present themselves to me every day (even more so as a result of this site). In the past week alone, Ive been asked to participate in adult films and received two inquiries from potential submissives (and perhaps when I feel I am skilled enough to effectively take on a submissive on a full-time contractual basis, I will consider such an option). So it isnt as if the potential for kink isnt out there I just need to take the kink on at a nice, slow pace because theres not much further I can go and the last thing I want to happen is for my mother to find my limp body hanging from the shower curtain rail, a leather belt tight around my neck and porn blasting on the television.
I know some of you are probably feeling disappointed and letdown by the utter lack of smut in this belated entry, and I apologize. But the coming (no pun intended) week is chock full of potential smut-making activities, so just be a little patient. Oh, and feel free to ask questions or leave comments about the types of smut youre most interested in. Chances are, if its legal, Ive either done it or know someone who has!
XXX
Q.
For those of you who havent yet sold yourselves out to the utter evil of premium channel television, HBO has a documentary series called America Undercover which treats viewers to in-depth explorations of such compelling subjects like forensic autopsies, the lives of Vegas showgirls, and my personal favorite, the working girls of the famed Moonlite Bunny Ranch. Some of you may actually recall that this fine Nevada establishment was once the subject of a Real World-esque series some time ago (also on HBO) imaginatively called Cathouse. Well, Cathouse II: Back in the Saddle brings us up to date on the comings and goings of some of our favorite Bunny Babes (see Isabella Soprano on the Bunny Ranch site for my personal pick) and their admirers (read: johns). You get the idea: Twenty or so hookers picked to live in a brothel and have their lives taped this is what happens when the sex stops being nice and starts getting real.
At any rate, of course, all of the girls featured in this show are beautiful, interesting and hyper-sexual and rave on and on about how much they love their jobs at the Bunny Ranch and how much they make. Face it, the fat, disgruntled $50 an hour, crack-addicted tricks (if they even exists at an establishment as high-end as the Bunny Ranch), would never be allowed to participate in such a savvy marketing ploy. I mean, you just wouldnt use a Dodge Neon to sell a Jaguar, now would you? So of course, I have fallen for the lure of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch hook, line and sinker.
Now, before you get on your morality soapboxes and wag your fingers (of the free hand that isnt preparing yourself for another load-blowing self-love session whilst reading my journal) at how such a nice, educated feminist like myself could ever subject herself to such utter exploitation, think on this: if someone is going to pay me potentially $1,000+ an hour to fuck and suck him/her in the safest of circumstances, who is really the one being exploited here? The defense rests, your honor.
Anyhow, back to my master (or shall I say mistress) plan. Im thinking, perhaps I need not give up this non-profit gig that I rather enjoy but make shit money at all I really need to do is get a legitimate gig for a few days a month at a place like the Bunny Ranch to augment my income. And yes, folks, I do have my standards, so there will be no whoring myself underneath the L train trestle (sorry to disappoint you local folks); although clearly, whoring myself in the storage room of crappy dives isnt completely out of the question.
With all that said, I cant help but to wonder if anonymous sex were to become a job, would I not enjoy it as much. Case in point: I used to train horses (which really has served me quite well in the BDSM scene). Now, up until the point that I turned pro, I couldnt get enough of horses. Then magically, once horses became my job, I found myself wishing for a job that didnt involve waking up at the crack of dawn in freezing cold weather, smelling like shit (literally) all day long, or riding until my ass hurt (you know, with the exception of waking up at the crack of dawn, working with horses is indeed a lot like the BDSM scene). At any rate, I havent been on a horse since 1997-ish. But I digress so the long and short (preference being for the former) of turning pro is that even if sex utterly bored me, the hefty paycheck would be a consolation. After all, Ive literally had sex (for free!) so boring that Ive made phone calls during the act. And long distance, even.
But the even more burning question is if the prospect of prostitution (albeit legal) is this enticing to me, will I ever get to a point in my life where I can have normal sex again and enjoy it? I mean, as far back as I can remember, Ive always pushed the envelope of my sexuality and I get concerned about how long and how far I can push these limits. To illustrate, here is a brief overview of my sexual development:
- I began my sexual exploration at the ripe old age of 8, an age when most girls still thought boys had cooties, with the help of three childhood friends (I always had a thing for group sex). Although actual penile-vaginal intercourse evaded us, nothing else did and I cam remember being ten years old and relieved to learn we were moving because our sexual games were getting so far advanced that I was actually becoming afraid of what might happen next.
- At 13, when most girls in my cohort were dealing with their first periods (the miracle of menarche revealed herself to me at 11) and first crushes, I became well-versed in the ancient art of fellatio and became a favorite with the high-school boys because of my large breasts.
- At 15, when most girls I knew were for the first time considering losing their virginity, I came out as a lesbian and fucked any woman that would part her thighs for me (my tastes ran the gamut from the Harvard-bound Salutatorian to a 28 year-old boss.
- At 18, I moved to the Bay Area for college and when most women were experimenting with lesbianism, I became obsessed with vibrators, phone sex and XXX movie houses.
- At 21, when the stigma of being gay finally started to be chipped away at, I decided I should fuck men as well, and I made up for lost time.
- At 24, it was the dawn of the age of the Internet and I joined AOL and phone sex, cyber sex and one-night stands became accessible at the drop of an E-mail.
- At 28, I found something lacking in conventional sex gay or straight - and turned to BDSM as a means of supplementation.
So, that brings us up to now. I am nearing 30, my sexual needs and desires as ever-present as ever, and really, what is there left to do? Granted, I still have a fantasy or two that has gone unfulfilled (perhaps for my 30th birthday Ill get that double-penetration scene Ive been wanting), and new opportunities present themselves to me every day (even more so as a result of this site). In the past week alone, Ive been asked to participate in adult films and received two inquiries from potential submissives (and perhaps when I feel I am skilled enough to effectively take on a submissive on a full-time contractual basis, I will consider such an option). So it isnt as if the potential for kink isnt out there I just need to take the kink on at a nice, slow pace because theres not much further I can go and the last thing I want to happen is for my mother to find my limp body hanging from the shower curtain rail, a leather belt tight around my neck and porn blasting on the television.
I know some of you are probably feeling disappointed and letdown by the utter lack of smut in this belated entry, and I apologize. But the coming (no pun intended) week is chock full of potential smut-making activities, so just be a little patient. Oh, and feel free to ask questions or leave comments about the types of smut youre most interested in. Chances are, if its legal, Ive either done it or know someone who has!
XXX
Q.
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
vivalapunk:
i remember so few people from the Anthrax days ... too much alcohol on show nights lol. do you remember the CT band, seizure?
vivalapunk:
I came across their singer, Karl, recently and he's now singing for a band out of N. Carolina called Leadfoot ... we laughed about how it had been almost 20 years since we had last seen each other. He sang for Corrosion of Conformity as well.