misterwolf94

and now to continue valentine... because everything else has to be said... but later... because love is still in the line... love is still in the lane valentine... as a furious siberian truck sometimes... and nothing is going to get it... again girls on girls but this time little girls in rebellion against the stupid adults again... and so little girls... the russians showed the evidence to the world with so perfect colors valentine... but the picture of one of the girls naked when she was a child is somewhat disturbing... it is an extra attractive to pedophiles but they got the courage... so borderline... if I was politically correct I would not get the courage... but sorry... and sorry again... just remember to say... I swallowed the piercing of your girl friend... but I didn't want to valentine...



and now the postgraduate student valentine... long history... but her mother better to say... mother and daughter better to say again valentine... so long history... they just could not to get free from my shadow for years... in another way it was I who kept them in my shadowy wishing well... till the day I left as clear as possible that I wanted both in my bed... but they refused... the daughter was so drunk... almost vomited all over me... if she was not so sensible... but she could not drink too much... and also could not this, could not that... dont remember the list... and the mother eyes seemed to declare my death sentence for short... her father could take the arrangements... I had to choose... not between one of them valentine... I had to choose for myself... but I am joking valentine... I am not so evil... I never showed my desire for the daughter... but it was not a desire for intercourse properly valentine... neither the desire of touching her with my hands...or to kiss her mouth... that would be a mortal sin in any human cosmogony... but maybe to smash my face in her so sweet nest down so down there valentine... where the carnal pleasure can come from any mouth... any bewildered greedy mouth valentine... but forget... I did not get the courage... and please do not vomite yourself... and the mother was so enough... oh yeah... so enough... but it was not possible not to think valentine... it is not possible not to think sometimes... it is just like that... but then what can you do... usually the guy keeps trying to seduce the girl in the borderline... just to try getting to some well defined conclusion on his charm say... to resume valentine... but there is no well defined conclusion... but the guy must keep in his heart the ideia that things well could be like this or like that if were not not quite favorable circunstances... otherwise everything falls apart valentine... but later... because now I am so tired of being a human being... so tired of constantly being adjusting my desire to kill with my desire to keep walking freely everywhere... but now to stand in line for this...



but then it fell apart valentine... and it looks like you have suicided your self... not your body valentine... your self... but later... because I had googled her name valentine... and I saw there in her blog... ask me anything... oh yeah... it is impossible not to think in something to ask... she also said that she wanted to be dominated... then you begin to think valentine... and you begin to think she is yours already... because you begin to think you can master the girl of so many different ways... but you can be so wrong... because it is you who are already dominated by her in so many ways... oh yeah... and she had those beautiful tattoos... oh yeah... and so you just need to go out again... to drink a coffe somewhere near her place again valentine... a coffee or whatever... and you stay there like a guard dog... you even take some reading from work with you... but no one really knows why you are around... giving a break maybe... as if it could be possible to give a break valentine... neither she could ever know why you were around maybe... but then she does not show up... and so you begin to think that it was because of you... she didn't want to find you there again... because you can imagine just anything... besides that she thought she could decide the score in a football game... her psychiatrist did not know what to think... some kind of super natural power... but at least she had not had showed you her finger yet... she had got you in so many extreme ways valentine... but later valentine... because now I want to find a place to shout this as loud as possible... so many here... you coudn't believe...



because it seemed that there was nothing more to care about valentine... no one else could interest you anymore... you didnt want to talk with no one else but her... and all that you wanted was to find her and to stay high on your toes to watch her swan eyes so above the clouds... because they would be so there... so above all world's misery and stupidity... and being so high you would want to cry aloud to let your voice being heard by all the gods of mercy and tolerance and understanding... and then so high above the clouds you would want to say so loud looking straight to her eyes that you loved her so much and as never never before... never... she could not doubt.. and that you would not be able to forget... not her... not her god.. not this time... nooooooo... but then it falls apart valentine...

but everything may be so different valentine... because you can show her your finger as a friendly joke before she showing hers to you with anger and disgust... and then she turns to be a little girl again... and you will continue to love her but now in a so different manner... once Lolita, you would begin to love her as if she now was Alice say... and then you would have wanted to see her growing till her lovely debut to the world being accompanied and protected by you, her proud companion of honour... and you would want to see her being married with your dearest and beloved nephew... but later... because you dont want to show her your finger yet valentine... not so soon... you would want to keep that fingers fight with her forever... oh yeah... but then you almost break your fingers against the wall... because the feeling of love is exactly the same as Beauty sometimes but when you can not reveal it to the world it becomes the same as Sadness and Dispair together valentine... you couldn't believe... so many... and so love has to be said but sometimes you just can't... but not this time valentine... noo... goood... you love her soo much... and you have suffered so many times before because of so many other veiled affairs of your so desolated heart... always sadly giving up of this girl to almost immediately being wrapped by the next... but not this tiiiiiime... this time you would be in your knees to sing to her like a drunk cock if necessary... as the old silly professor before marlene dietrich in the movie... his fallen blue angel... what a shame... but it would be somewhat different valentine... because before her your drunk cock crow would sound like an infinite trumpet to announce a so new and bright and very first dawn... coming from some infinite past it could begin to be heard with all the colors and stridences of mile davis but the end should be so very different... the end should be just like dylan in the movies valentine... oh yeah... no doubt... and so the angels would be able to guess for the first time the rich gracefulness of the dawn as seen from the view of those little sad creatures when they are in love valentine... you know... god... so many here... you love her so much...

but then again... sorry... you just neeed it here... at the very end valentine...



and so you open a private email account and began to send anonymous love letters to her... your own letters from underground valentine... written to Sonia, Alice, Lolita, or to any other woman's sublime caracter you could ever be able to compose in your mind... you couldn't believe... but later... because now you want to say once more that you love her so much... and then you begin to write her a letter talking about sensible cock singers and swan eyes in the sky so above the clouds valentine... but you want to do something different now... because she is not the kind of girl you could easily impress... oh no... and you would want to write an entire book of poems for her... do you know what poetry is... I dont know dear... but I know where to find it... poetry is everywhere around you my so dear alice... and you would not want to look yourself at the mirror to watch your face... no problem in watching your body... it could be better and it would be better... but you would not want to try to conform your feelings to some carefully composed mask to be shown to her in some right moment later... you would want to be as truthful as possible before her... so difficult sometimes... but it did look so easy in her case... and so only she would be able to describe that face of yours when you had begun to try not crying... and she would then understand that your most pronunciated facial expressions and wringles were provenient from your cry...

little man in love valentine...

but then you discover that she had not read any one of your letters... she was not used with that heavy wavering style of yours... she tought it could be some kind of spam... she had not got the patience valentine... oh no... she had not... and then you begin to understand that her last passionate blogs were not in no way written in response to you as you had so heartily become to believe... and everything falls apart valentine... and then you must be ready to go to the next... because you must keep the illusion in your heart... but then you begin to think you could write a book of letters written by suiciders... beautiful sad suicide letters valentine... to a friend, a brother, some girl friend... just to prevent yourself to let your own... and then you forget her for a while to begin to think you well could write some suicide letters on demand... you would have to charge in advance of course... and there would be the letter for the mother of course... there is no reason to commit suicide if your mother is not alive valentine... mine is still alive... and mine will always be alive in these mine words so I will always have my entire set of reasons valentine... oh yeah...

mother... just a word... be calm... just remember all the embraces and kisses I gave you... all of them were a testimony of my love... entirely yours... I am not giving up the labour but just returning to you as a recollected labour my mother... and be calm as well when destiny comes to put you in that mysterious line of time... just keep in your memory those you liked best... keep those you wish to keep... because all of those you have kept in your memory will also be in line to gracefully welcome your calm arrival... but I fix it later... but the guy had no faith at all valentine.... but he would not want to disappoint his mother... oh god... so many here... you love her so much... not your mother valentine... I mean... you know...

but everything may be so different valentine... because she could have read your anonimous messages and guessed your somewhat obscure romantic way to say things say... as she own had noticed to you before... she was a sad romantic nostalgic girl sometimes... and her last three blogs could really be being directed to you and only to you... oh yeah... and so you have to get the courage... the courage to admit to yourself... you would do that... and that would be good... without regrets... because she wanted to do that... and she wanted to do that without regrets... but maybe you would have to carry this burden for you both... because she had said in her blog she would have prefered not to be living a certain uncertain kind of love... you know... she was not so certain... but later... because now everything has been completely understood by both of you anyway... and the tension is to be dissipated very soon... for the worst or for the best... of course you would want to keep the mother as your official partner say... so enough... and of course you would never want to show up as the mister and guide of that little girl after some ridiculous scandalous... so ridiculous... you both would go to live in a community farm and get some children... so ridiculous... but later... and also the girl would want to see you as her mother's partner forever... because she had approved you... and she loved her mother so much... oh yeah... but later valentine... because now I am so tired of trying to adjust my desire to killl this mine self with my desire of finding a good excuse for not doing that...

because tomorrow would be exactly as today valentine... little concerns referring to being alive and the rest...

the rest valentine...

unless you get the courage and ask her for a date say... in your own place maybe... in some day she would understand as appropriate... because she also knew about her mother fixed compromises along the week... she would sit in your chair and you would want to dictate her blog to her... just some words please... hi there... I have been attending love today.... he is just an injured little man who needs our attention once in awhile... and today he needed mine so much... so great valentine... and she would be almost naked wearing just some old t-shirt of yours... old scene valentine... sorry... but you would want to be just lke that... and you would want to correct her small syntax neglects and try to change her somewhat feminine style say... and then she would show you her finger while pointing out some shit you own had done in your own manly blog... so great... but the date could also be in her place... and then you would dictate her blog to her while messing around her bedroom and smelling her panties in the drawers... so better valentine... in any case you would also want to see her reading aloud all the letters you had sent to her... so proud of that shit... but she would not get the patience valentine... because now she was there... and now beauty was there in her eyes and not in some bundle of worship cheap words you had put together to try to capture this same beauty to offer to her in a cage... but later valentine...

because now so many things are being continuously composed everywhere around your head while dawn takes so long to come but you don't want to know nothing about things except what a hell things she could be doing while dawn did not decide to come to finally put you completely exausted and drunk in the sofa after reloading her blog for this now last time dawn... last time promisse... oh baby...

you don't know what you are but you know you love her so much... and .there will come a day... oh baby... not her god... not her... you would be still in your knees as a little injured man till dawn come to pick you up in the gutter... god... so many here... so tired...



because you could not rest valentine... it seemed that whatever place you could ever be she would also be there right there in front of you... and so every move and talk of yours would be being registered by her... and you could not rest... always trying to personate for some one else or just for yourself alone what you would want to be carefully showing for her and only for her... wich was not there valentine... but later... because now she was a sad romantic nostalgic girl sometimes but almost all the time she used to show in her face some kind of intense happiness and self satisfaction say... there are some lucky people who love themselves so much valentine... you couldn't believe... and so you are always in fear of loosing her for some other as well lucky happy direct clear warm nice smart guy... god...you would lose so very soon the kingdom you had longed for so much and had barely begun to believe yours... very soon... nooooo... you want so much to see her waiting for you till the day will come... whatever day... and then you go to make your round again valentine... stoping there and there... as a dog peeing there and there to let the smell... god... but you want to meet her and also don't want at the same time... because you have been putting in risk your chances say... you have been doing your round even when the moment is not so appropriate... and also even when you are not fellling yourself as if you were in your best... whatever does it mean... because you would be truthful this way... shit.... but then you have the frightening fear of being inconvenient to her in some way before her friends or else the incomparable frightning fear of acting like a jerk before her... but this case includes the other... god... the thrill would be gone... you would make no difference for her anymore... she would say to her mother to let you... but then the good news valentine... she had just said in her blog she didn't care too much about the man's body shape... at least not so much guys... and that the only muscles she would want to test and to see enormous to hold her tight were the heart muscles inside man's chest... so nice valentine... maybe she would wait... so nice... god... you love her so much... and then you begin to think that all the power you ever could get over her would come solely from the almost crazy words you have been sending to her mail box believing that she would be reading them almost immediately valentine... god... but you are talking about love there... oh yeah... and so love needs to be crazily dissected valentine... because you want to let her know without any doubt... to let her understand... to let her moved till inevitable tears by the so sad disenchanted love you have been telling to her... oh yeah... you coudn't believe valentine... because she needed to be well prepared before you ask her to enter in your car valentine... or ask her to embrace you so tight... oh yeah... to embrace you... you love her so much... and you want so much to see her waiting for you till the dawn will come... but sometimes you just need to surrender to the words of some other guy valentine... and sometimes you also go to read that book... sorry.... till the very end valentine... but now the book does not show to be enough... and you would have to learn your own words... and maybe to learn the words for you both... maybe... you would try so hard valentine... but you are so tired now... and so you get some other guy to cry out your love for you.... you really don't want to be her mister and guide... you want her to take care of you as a child... oh yeah... so many here... till the very end valentine...



and sometimes you begin to think you are living a kind of tragic love tortured story of some very ancient time say... and no one in the world knows nothing about it valentine... neither her... you would rather say tragicomic burlesque but you find no reason to laugh... but of course you would not want to describe your feelings to her in none of these ways... of course not... no drama please... and please don't laugh of my so tight long johns... and of course the end should be so very different... oh yeah... but later... because now you are feeling yourself just tragic valentine... god... you love her so much... so much... just tragic...



because you could not decide about the beginning valentine... neither about the end... you could do nothing wrong and so the frightening fear... and you would like so much to see some signal in her blog... clear signal... she had to get the courage... because her blogs were almost always directed to just anyone in fact valentine... I mean... any man or woman could read them as if they were being directed to him or to her... and as if she was declaring her most profound feeling of love to him or her... or else saying goodbye... and always so sad goodbyes... god... but even so you would believe she was saying goodbye to some one else and because of you of course.... her new love brief love... kind of witch valentine... or else it would be so clear that those royal green eyes she was talking about were not in no way yours almost painted of black... but you would have to decide anyway and pay the price... any price you could imagine you occasionaly would have to pay of course...but you would not want to pay the highest price you could figure... so high... oh god... and the highest price was not her mother valentine... even because she would never know in no way whatever might come to happen... if any... god... but you love her so much... but later valentine... because now you are so anxious to open her blog again... but you will wait till dawn... but it is not the case of a credulous heart in love here... credulous of some mysterious force of the so freezing cold light of morning... oh no... but who knows she is not waiting till dawn as well valentine... and then you begin to write one more letter to her without knowing yet if she had really been reading all that shit... and then you close your eyes to try to find some words to use as a pray... a pray to whom valentine... to beauty maybe... silly shit... but you have to pray for your soul... after finding the words valentine... after finding the words...

because love has to be said anyway valentine... and it depends on your words to love shows itself as some set of crude facts about life or... it depends on your words valentine... and so many tears... and now on the contrary you want to pray to find the words... you would want to pray at least for her showing some gratitude for just anything you could find to do in order to give her any kind of pleasure and benefit... god... but that would not be enough this time... not her god... this time it should be no borderline but inside a dangerous land of plenitude and raw desire in order to attend love so properly... oh god valentine... you coudn't believe... and both would have to pay the price... if any... but you would have to find the words to convince yourself that there would be no price... and also the words for her maybe... and you begin to imagine words for her first... and you get a noisy black and white picture first... so noisy valentine...



but then she would be a kind of witch valentine... a jezebel with good heart... she knew so well the evil but she had not the will of spreading it too much... not too much... and so she would not be let to the dogs... and would be always in the place of the queen instead... and she would be able to face just anything in life... jezebel... god... but then you see yourself rigth there in her blog as her only noble majesty and also as some poor little man being kept in her pocket to be decapitated in a moment... at the same time valentine... witch jezebel...

or then she is just a kid man... she has been masturbating with your letters and with her wild pictures book but she never suspected the letters were yours... and so you just need to forget... you would never open her blog again... once so yours... and world would not change a word... and she would be just another beautiful kid walking around... you could teach something to her once in a while.... and also learn of course... but not her goddd... not her... not this time... this time you would want to teach to her a little some about evil...

evil against love...

and you would want to pave a so perfectly slippery path till love that evil would never be able to walk on it valentine... oh no...

but then you are going to try to find the real question you would have to answer valentine.... so dificult...

but you had to find a definition for yourself first... you could not define yourself as the guy who loves her so much... it would not be a good definition... so many others love her so much... a good definition of yours at that moment should contain enough reasons for her loving you as well.... of course... and should also contain your so very good reasons for you loving her....her in particular... maybe the real question valentine... maybe... you don't know what you are yet but you are entirely convinced that you love her so much... and then you would want to write a letter for sonia the prostitute this time valentine... because only sonia would be able to listen all your fears and crimes to give you then her most sorrowful forgiveness... and her womb for you to cry...

womb to cry valentine... god... because then your car rides would be really going to become the most risky thing in life... not because of the alchool it could be valentine... but because now you could meet her in some so very wrong moment... so very wrong... and both would not even be able to look at each other eyes... you both just can't... each with your own set of reasons... but you well could find reasons for her being as so actionless as yourself... but you could be so wrong... and so the song would remain the same... you dont know if she loves you so much as well or if she just begin to hate you for you being there again in her place... or if none... and you can imagiine just anything valentine... but you would want to pray to sonia so sadly anyway.. so sadly asking for her most sorrowful forgiveness...

but you are a kind of smart if you can see the stupidity of others valentine... but you would be really smart if you could see your own... god... so tired here... so many... so black... so black...

and so you go to try to find some illuminating words not in that already useless men's golden book of yours but in that dangerous red fleshly blog of hers again... witch jezebel... god... and then you begin to imagine a so very different situation... easiest to handle maybe... she would be your almost twin sister valentine... your incestuous sister... but you would never be her father valentine.. thanks god you are free of that so wild desire... thanks god... but as your sister you could see so many beatiful details... little details valentine... when you are in her bedroom side by side with her in her bed late at night... and you are talking to each other about music your parents and love... mom loves dad or not... that question could bring you so much happiness or so much piety... but of course you love each other so much... but later valentine... because she is not your almost twin sister right now... and you are just what... you are just that man who loves her so much... god... and world will not change a word because of that... so black valentine... you couldn't believe... but the dawn will have to come... and you are so tired... if you could find all these so specialy important cases in the book valentine... but you can't... oh no...

but then you know evil so well... and you begin to think you would want to see her as a zombi say... you own had made the curse of course... and she would not be able to find nothing more to do in life except being there right there by your side valentine... you would let her walk one step ahead... but you had made the entire curse this time without thinking for a second... and so you would also want to stay one step behind to keep her in your view and to feel the smell of her windy bright hair for the rest of your life... a so good marriage valentine... god... good... you love her so much... so many... so tired... so black... and the dawn will come so soon now but you don't want to see night saying good morning un bye so soon... because now night is just the same as her own self and body being duplicated forever in the light streets along whatever lighted way you are able to find and you would like so much to keep walking lost in between forever as well... and you are just so tired of trying to see night also during the guardian journey of the day valentine... god...what day is today... today is the day you will be anxiously looking for the night... and the book had said that man find happiness once in his life... just once... and then you begin to think that your time had finally come... god valentine... she is in your reliquary as the only image for you to ask some equilibrium and understanding... if you just could see your own... but she well would be able to stand still in that so slippery reliquary of yours while listening to your pray... because you love her so much valentinte... oh yeah... witch jezebel... dawn will come anyway... please give some words for her to say... but you would want to give her your entire love song playlist for her to sing for you valentine... you would be awkwardly singing by her side... god...



and then you forget her for a while and return to your suicide book letters... and this time you go to write the letter to the sister... don't nee say word lil sister... even so... I've got something to tell you... sorry... and this time you would have to write more than one letter... because of the almost twin sister case valentine... so special... and some others... and then you begin to think from nothing that sex is a lure that love handles to put in your mouth... and then you go painfully being pulled by love till he takes you out from so nice fresh water and let you die suffocated dried in the sun... god... but what does it mean valentine... please try to explain yourself mister... I was just trying to find the words.. sorry... maybe love returns you to water instead valentine... somewhat injured maybe... love is a profissional fisher valentine... so good... he lets you to live... but you love her so much anyway and you would stand for this till almost midday sun... almost valentine... almost midday...

because you don't like sun too much... and you don't like to see people during day doing who knows what a fuck thngs they need to do in order to try being fucking happy and alive... you didn't like to see all that real work valentine.... because your real work was to keep finding words for her... and some people would not consider it a real work really... and then you could not feel so much empathy around you at midday... shame on you... but you also didn't like to see all those peolple in line for lunch... lunch time valentine... and you didn't like to see also all those two legs carrying a barrel of chopp and fat meat while cleaning their teeth so completely satisfied... you would prefer to be two legs carrying a bottle of some irish scotch aged in some so very tobacco smoked oak barrel instead.. and also carrying the so many words she gives to you in so many moments of most sacred destiled tears... words you keep saying to her in your so beautifuly imagined bright cloud meetings... god... you couldn't believe valentine... you love her so much...

but you can imagine also the so very worst valentine... love has been so severe and now you are so blind and from now on you will really be left so alone with your memory and imagination and your memory and imagination solely could so well lead you to the vision of the so most black inside the so most empty universe and so this way the moon would not be there for you to cry and even so you well would want to cry so much in order to let your so empty self to become the so very most empty self so very most lost in the so very most empty universe as well... god valentine... you love her so much and the day will come... the dawn will come the angels will guess because she will have to be yours and that just can not be different now... you jane me tarzan valentine... you jane me tarzan and the forest is now the so vey most desert because Nature respects the designs of love as Its so very most sacred obligation... witch jezebel...

because love has to be said anyway but you are in the kindergarten yet valentine...

do you like me... then write a poem for me... a poeme... what is a poema alice please... what is a poeme alice god...

you don't know what a poem is and so you will keep asking to yourself and to others what is a poem in order to who knows finally find a poem to give it to her wrapped in some lollipop during the playtime for her then to read aloud the most hearty words you were able to find to her and read them aloud being in front of you as your exactly idea of happinees and for her then almost immeditly to look around to decide who in that playground could ever have written those weird but sweet things anyway... god... but maybe she also didn't know too much about poem things.. but even if she also didnt know what a poem could exactly be it was exactly a poem what her eyes always showed so surely to be looking for... and a poem would be exactly what her eyes would finally decide to be a poem... but you don't konw what a poem is valentine...

but at least you can remember the last day you took a shower... it was just before yesterday valentine.... that is ok... and the next shower will come when you see you have forgotten which day the last day was before... but that is ok... because anyway you would want to collect all your dirty things before going to clean yourself in her so very most purificating tears valentine... and so you would want to be no more than a so most pure tear of hers sliping till her left breast to dry then in her waist as the so very most beatiful painful angel black and wild tatto you ever had seen... and that would be your everlasting epitaph valentine... god... so good... you are going to be there forver in her waist... so good...

mas fosse como fosse o meu epitafio em sua cintura... I willl fix it later valentine...
eu nao me importaria de ser abatido por voce...
apenas mais um homem
nem um anjo nem poeta
que morreu apaixonado...
como icaro la na altura
consumido de alegria
ao ter do ceu se aproximado...

because in your view only her tears of sadnees or joy could turn you a poet valentine... and of course you should be a poet to gain her love and tears also... god... where to go now... but latter valentine... because now you are so so tired of being carrying love in your back wherever you go... you please go there and then there... and love puts you there and there... wherever he decides you must go... who says love is a fly weight fisher walking on the waters... oh no... love is the world hercules sustains in his back valentine...

but then you decide to get to some conclusion... any conclusion... and you decide that today would be the day... would be today... you dont remember anymore the day before and so you just neeed a shower today... and you've got your conclusion valentine... god... but then you ask yourself why should a poem be made of just a few words.. you would rather see a poem as dense and povoated as... as what valentine... please don't say as leafs of grass in the super grass stadium being smashed by some grew up kids running after some slipery golden ball valentine... oh no please... because you didn't like sun too much and you also didn't like that shit too much valentine... and please don't show me your finger valentine... please don't show... but then you have found from nothing some few words to pray... please don't show me your finger valentine... please never show your so blessed finger for me my so very most blessed lady... god...

and then you begin to think that the musician guy her friend does not like very much the sun either valentine... because he just needs to take a look at the people in the audience to choose the most pretty girls who would also have looked at his eyes and then pass an hour or so doing exactly what he had been dreaming since his childhood... playing his instrument while looking at the eyes of some of his most dearest women... what a work valentine... you would want to stare for a thousand years valentine... and of course the same holds mutatis mutantis for the gay musician guy or for the girl guy or whatever... mutatis mutantis valentine... oh god... but then you begin to think that her friend musician well could love her just her as much as yourself valentine...god... and then you also feel sorry for him because you suspect he has not found his words as well ... but then you just go crazy while suspecting he well could have been playing for her while loooking at her eyes... you just go crazy... this guy does not work at allllll... god... and you love her so much but the world a word... she just could not see that you were going to die... would she come to kiss your lips in your so sanitized funeral mister... world a word shit...

but later valentine... later... because now the world is just her iluminated eyes so very most iluminated by her tricks... jezebel my queen god... you have got me in your pocket... but you don't complain because her so povoated pocket would be cheked once in a while anyway... and so you find some more words anyway... please my so most blessed lady do not cut my head off... because you love her so much and nothing in the world could change it now... world... what world are you talking about man... don't want to know nothing about it... with these my so sad eyes I just want to look at her eyes while playing my instrument for at least a thousand yeaars... because you love her so much valentine and love is the so very most sacred thing... the so very most... god...



but then some girl her friend comes from nothing to say she has some good news to tell you... in a second you imagine some so very good news she welll could be bringing to you... and all of them would bring you so much happineess... she had heard something about you and her maybe... oh god... if you could see your own... and in a second she telll you she is going to be an aunt... so very nice... so cute... world a word shit... because nothing but the girl valentine... and finally you have found a place to put this so very old words... so very old and so very new valentine... nothing but the girl... god... so black... so tired... the desert miss the rain and of course you would never go to listen that guy who didn't love women too much... of course not valentine... because you love her so much anyway and you would want so much to be the desert and her the rain... god... and you go to buy some cigarrets and drink some coffe and alchool somewhere near her place again... you rain me desert... me desert valentine... god... and all that you have is your dryness for her to rain and vivify... but you would want so much to have so much more to offer... you would want to offer her the most of whatever could it be... and so you would want to offer her the most beatiful love letter ever written of course valentine... the golden book is outdated anyway... and yours would be each word a grain of your desert.. and you would want to be reading for her that most beatiful love letter ever written while staring her swan tricky eyes so above the clouds during a thousand million years valentine... oh yeah... you would never want to think in an end... no end grain in your desert... oh no... god... because world a grain word valentine... love... and in all that desert of grain words you had found that so unique world grain... but you probably would lose it again... oh yeah... you please stand in line for this mister...

anyway... love has to be said when you find it valentine... bingo mister...

but dawn was over long ago and so you finally wake up... to read her blog again... to find more words to sow your desert... and you would want to write your next letter to her right there in her blog... if you just could... because you have been catching from her blog your sustain anyway... crazy thirsty hungry man... and then you find an human skeleton there in her pocket... you dont't know if man or woman... missing some bones... missing some ribs.. then you go to try find some missing rib to be put in your own skeleton... and you would want to recreate the world again with her always there so near your heart... god... you love her so much...



if you just could see your own valentine... because now that ex-girlfriend of hers came to tell you from nothing a so very diferent history... they had been together again in a motel... both drunk... what a relief for a second valentine... at least she had not been with her ex-boyfriend in a motel... till then you had not had any jealousy of ex-girlfriends valentine... I mean... you know... god... the book is so outdated... but later... because now you just need to be calm... be calm... because you don't want in no way to send her also the most beautiful suicide letter ever written... of course not... you dont want to be loved posthumously by her... oh no... and after all how should be such a letter valentine... because you don't know yet if she loves if she hates or if she none anyway... you would have to write then three letters... but then you would not be able to decide which to leave so visible in your bed anyway... it would be better to be sure... in the worst case you would have to write just one letter.... but then it should have to be again the most beatiful love letter ever written anyway valentine...god... and now you have emptied both the bottle and your stomach... in this order... and neither your mother would get the patience to read that desert book of yours to find the piramid she could consider as hers anyway... but you love her so much anyway valentine... your mother I mean... you know... and so you have emptied bottle and stomach and you would like to cry aloud to also empty your heart from any feeling of love... but dawn is coming so silently now and then you decide to accompany dawn with your silence as well... so dread sad silence valentine... you coudn't believe...you would want to have been crying aloud from dawn to midday sun instead... to cry you love her the so very most an to empty the so very most as well your head... and then you would want to stare midday sun above the clouds because you were already blind by her shine anyway... god mster... but at least she could guide you by hands once in a while valentine... who knows... the so very most...

but then you really need to find a definition for yourself because you have been so lost in the walk... at least you can understand that you really don't know who you are anymore valentine... but you are almost so sure as well that you must keep walking anyway for the benefit of your heart... and then you begin to park your car a kilometer or so from her place just to take a walk in some regular basis... god... then you begin to think you would like so much to be walking half a way the lafayette galery valentine... oh yeah... you would want to choose a wrap for her in this so cold weather... 80% laine d'agneau 20% polyamide or something... but you would want to pay the 100% if you could find it valentine... oh yeah... and maybe a litlle porcelain doll to her collection... oh yeah... but you are so distant from lafaite galery... and so you begin to think that you would like to have her in some pocket of yours instead but you dont have pockets... you just use t-shirts... and none lacoste... and of course you would not let her sufocated in your trousers with ciggars keys and some other shits... of course not... but you would not mind to change yor habits... oh no... but you would have just one pocket in your now new shirt for her to share it with her ex-girl friend... because you would not want to let her being there alone forever of course... but you would not want to cut off heads valentine... not hers of course... and so you would try so hard to keep them in peace... but you should take care with yours anyway... and you would like so much to see them in peace anyway while smoking a ciggarrete... oh yeah...

mother and daugther valentine... you would want to be in front of the door where alice and lolita were slleping together... and you would want to do the most risk thing in your life valentine... to enter through that door to give both a kiss of good night...

but then you get your clear signal in her blog valentine... oh no...

she had been considering all that shit just a game and now she is so tired of your so wrong moves... period... and she ended the game as she always has done... you miss her so much but...

are you crazy man... oh no...

woman knows so well how to evilly diminish a little man in love valenine...

but now you would want so much to ask her forgiveness anyway...

for not knowing yet that from her parties you would never be invited to participate...

are you crazy man...

oh yeah you are crazy... big shit...

if love does not let you crazy then you are dead man...

if you just could see your own valentine... god...

and then you take some words of someone else...

forgive me for loving you so much... sorry so sorrry....

and again you will forget but not so soon valentine... because you have been living a one-sided imaginary love relation with her since when you don't remember anymore... and you don't care and you don't want to count the days.... so many.... enough to make you forget all that came before....

love is a so odd relation in the set of human beings valentine... consider the weight relation to compare... if you have the same weight of your friend then your friend has the same weight as yours of course... and if also your friend has the same weight of some other guy then you three have the same weight... and of course you have the same weight of yours... but with the love relation all these so good properties fail to hold... to begin with you well can hate yoursel and so the so simple last one is out... you are related to yourself with respect to the weight relaion but not necessarily with respect with the love relation.. and so on valentine... but I will fix it later valentine...