I had an awesome weekend with Shellina... We wanted to have a photo shoot with another friend of ours in Knoxville, but it didn't pan out, so we kinda had an informal one of our own instead... I'll be posting some of my favorites on here as soon as I drag out photoshop and clean them up a little bit... or if anyone wants a peek now, you can find her on my friends list on MySpace or look in my pics folder.
Shellina's been feeling a little under the weather, so I tried my best to take care of her and make her feel better. I just hope she gets well before this weekend, and especially before her surgery. I don't get to see her until Thursday this week, due to our work schedules, but I'm going to make the best of the time I get to spend with her before she has her operation. I want to drink up as much of her as possible until then.
I had a really long discussion with my "the ex" today... she thinks that I suffer from narcissistic personality disorder... defined by the American Association of Mental Health as:
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A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of
empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five
(or more) of the following:
1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents,
expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should
associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4) requires excessive admiration
5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable
treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own
ends
7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
-----------------------------------------------
For someone that knows me so well... she's very far off the mark, in my opinion... I'm really not sure how to take her comment... Is she lashing out at me because I've found someone else? I really don't feel that I fit into that mold... but maybe I just don't see those quailities in myself...
I admit that I've been flighty in the past, I get bored with things easily, I like change, I love the challenge and refreshing nature of doing and trying new things... but does that make me narcissistic?
I have, in my past, hopped from relationship to relationship... but it's because I have a certain ideal woman that I'm looking for. I can't let myself be trapped by my empathy or sympathy with someone who I can't be happy with... someone I can't be myself with... someone who doesn't make my life complete just by being them and me being me.
My perfect mate has been cast from a certain mold... I want the woman that fits that mold, not someone that I have to cram into it... someone who runs over in some spots and leaves others empty... I think I've found that woman, and I will do everything in my power to keep her, to make her happy, to make her mine, and me hers. I don't want her to change, I don't want to change. I think I've found my missing piece.
Love can be a funny thing sometimes... I've fallen in love before and it was something that had to be nurtured, something that had to grow over time. This time I've either been bitten, stung, struck, blindsided, pinched, poked, or maybe slapped by love. No, love has pounced on me like a vicious beast that has been stalking me and laying outside my vision in the darkness of my life.
My throat was it's target.
And I'm finished.
Shellina's been feeling a little under the weather, so I tried my best to take care of her and make her feel better. I just hope she gets well before this weekend, and especially before her surgery. I don't get to see her until Thursday this week, due to our work schedules, but I'm going to make the best of the time I get to spend with her before she has her operation. I want to drink up as much of her as possible until then.
I had a really long discussion with my "the ex" today... she thinks that I suffer from narcissistic personality disorder... defined by the American Association of Mental Health as:
-----------------------------------------------
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of
empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five
(or more) of the following:
1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents,
expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should
associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4) requires excessive admiration
5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable
treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own
ends
7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
-----------------------------------------------
For someone that knows me so well... she's very far off the mark, in my opinion... I'm really not sure how to take her comment... Is she lashing out at me because I've found someone else? I really don't feel that I fit into that mold... but maybe I just don't see those quailities in myself...
I admit that I've been flighty in the past, I get bored with things easily, I like change, I love the challenge and refreshing nature of doing and trying new things... but does that make me narcissistic?
I have, in my past, hopped from relationship to relationship... but it's because I have a certain ideal woman that I'm looking for. I can't let myself be trapped by my empathy or sympathy with someone who I can't be happy with... someone I can't be myself with... someone who doesn't make my life complete just by being them and me being me.
My perfect mate has been cast from a certain mold... I want the woman that fits that mold, not someone that I have to cram into it... someone who runs over in some spots and leaves others empty... I think I've found that woman, and I will do everything in my power to keep her, to make her happy, to make her mine, and me hers. I don't want her to change, I don't want to change. I think I've found my missing piece.
Love can be a funny thing sometimes... I've fallen in love before and it was something that had to be nurtured, something that had to grow over time. This time I've either been bitten, stung, struck, blindsided, pinched, poked, or maybe slapped by love. No, love has pounced on me like a vicious beast that has been stalking me and laying outside my vision in the darkness of my life.
My throat was it's target.
And I'm finished.
As far as your writings about your new found love; I think it is amazing how love can make a person write the most moving words. It is like it just flows out of you from a place that was unknown and when read, lightens a person's soul, making their heart beat a little faster for a few seconds.
I think the most profound thing that can happen when you fall in love...the look between you and that person. It's like, every second that you look into each other's eyes, you can see into their soul. You are connected to it and all you feel is warmth and bliss. To me, this is the deepest way to connect with a person that you are in love with. It is like you have found a way to communicate without words and it is magical.
Ok, on a lighter note, phew, I can't wait to see you guys this weekend.