I've had a few drinks tonight, so forgive me if my thought process here is less than... I dunno. What fucking word am I looking for? Concise, maybe?
We're leaving here in a week. Heading west, toward the Valley of the Sun, anticipating the new adventures and experiences that await us in the desert. For me, it's something of a homecoming, a chance to return to a life that seemed to make more sense, a life where I was much happier and felt like I had more opportunity. For Dave, it's a clean slate, an empty diary patiently awaiting the first entry.
That's not to say that leaving is easy, of course. While I can't speak for my companion, I can say that I'm not looking forward to saying so many goodbyes, to once again falling out of touch with people that I care about. It's easy to forget, and to be forgotten, when you're thousands of miles away, your only connection being a telephone line or an internet signal. Friendships we always told ourselves we would cherish and hold dear are swept under the rug and slowly forgotten, and we make way for new connections with strangers that we hope will replace the people we left behind.
Hell, things change even before you're gone. Over the past few months, I've drifted apart from some, and grown closer than I would ever have imagined to others. It's easy to see which bonds are strong enough to weather the storm of distance, and which have already begun to stretch and strain under the pressure of what the future holds. It won't take long before I find myself almost completely forgotten by many, while I continue to cultivate the fruit of friendship with a select few.
On the brink of great change, you find yourself wondering what to say. All of the secrets you've held close to your heart, the feelings you've kept hidden away - do you go for broke, throwing caution into the wind and taking this final chance to unburden yourself? Or do you keep everything safely below the surface, only to look back somewhere down the road, full of regret and wondering what might have been if only you had the guts to speak up?
Fuck that. I don't want regrets. I don't want to be too scared to speak my mind. I don't want to wonder what change might have been wrought with a few simple words or actions. I've got seven days left to get everything off my chest, to tell some people how much I care about them and how important they are to me, while simultaneously making it abundantly clear to others that they are more than welcome to take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. I'm sure that by the time I leave, things I've said and done will most certainly NOT make me the most popular cat around, but such is the way of life. We must reap what we sow.
And besides - what have I got to lose, right?
The next seven days should prove mighty interesting.
We're leaving here in a week. Heading west, toward the Valley of the Sun, anticipating the new adventures and experiences that await us in the desert. For me, it's something of a homecoming, a chance to return to a life that seemed to make more sense, a life where I was much happier and felt like I had more opportunity. For Dave, it's a clean slate, an empty diary patiently awaiting the first entry.
That's not to say that leaving is easy, of course. While I can't speak for my companion, I can say that I'm not looking forward to saying so many goodbyes, to once again falling out of touch with people that I care about. It's easy to forget, and to be forgotten, when you're thousands of miles away, your only connection being a telephone line or an internet signal. Friendships we always told ourselves we would cherish and hold dear are swept under the rug and slowly forgotten, and we make way for new connections with strangers that we hope will replace the people we left behind.
Hell, things change even before you're gone. Over the past few months, I've drifted apart from some, and grown closer than I would ever have imagined to others. It's easy to see which bonds are strong enough to weather the storm of distance, and which have already begun to stretch and strain under the pressure of what the future holds. It won't take long before I find myself almost completely forgotten by many, while I continue to cultivate the fruit of friendship with a select few.
On the brink of great change, you find yourself wondering what to say. All of the secrets you've held close to your heart, the feelings you've kept hidden away - do you go for broke, throwing caution into the wind and taking this final chance to unburden yourself? Or do you keep everything safely below the surface, only to look back somewhere down the road, full of regret and wondering what might have been if only you had the guts to speak up?
Fuck that. I don't want regrets. I don't want to be too scared to speak my mind. I don't want to wonder what change might have been wrought with a few simple words or actions. I've got seven days left to get everything off my chest, to tell some people how much I care about them and how important they are to me, while simultaneously making it abundantly clear to others that they are more than welcome to take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. I'm sure that by the time I leave, things I've said and done will most certainly NOT make me the most popular cat around, but such is the way of life. We must reap what we sow.
And besides - what have I got to lose, right?
The next seven days should prove mighty interesting.