misterjesus

You want me, you know it.


and if you don't then you should.



I kinda fucked up the other night, not too bad I hope, I never intended to have the heart to heart with the lovely woman on msn (cause that's kinda cowardly) but my feelings were eating me up inside so I had to tell her.


anyways I knew damn well what the outcome was going to be and that like most things I do the timing or the circumstances are never right,

so what to do now? I dunno, I'm in a chilled mood which is cool.

Thing is I'm not all wanted for the intense relationship stuff, i've done that and it's obvious I fuck it up somehow (dunno who I'm a loyal guy, I think careing and attentive) I did find out this week why my ex left, and this is why,

" You were just too much for me I wanted my independance and I felt like you were taking that away from me"

Huh??

she's now involved with somebody else and is taking much glee in letting me know that she is much happier with him than she ever was with me.

how is that independance?

nuts just nuts.

so anyways back to the lady in question (and before you ask this is not some kind of passing interest just as a get me over the ex type situation)

she's great, really really great, with pretty much every other lady I've dated in the past I have always felt some kind of comprimise, there was just that one thing that was just not quite right, I choose to ignore those things, but this time is so different, I just am having such a hard time talking to her, she's made things clear to me, and I'm not upset really, cause we are pretty kosher mates and that's a good thing.

this is so dumb so so dumb.

I feel like a total ass even as I write this.