mistereel

i have completely cut someone out of my life today. this is not the first time it has happened.

a long time ago i came to the realization that i would rather cut someone out then put up with their shit. so thats what i did today. maybe doing this will have consequences later down the road but you know, i dont care. what difference does it make.

obviously im not suppose to be with this person otherwise i wouldnt feel the need to get rid of them. and if i am suppose to be with them then they will come back into my life some way down the road.

my shrink says this is not a healthy way to deal with people then i asked if it was healthier to continue allowing myself to be hurt? the shrink didnt have an answer.

i think i must decide if i want to be alone my entire life or if i want to be with someone that rips my guts out everyday. i have yet to find someone that doesnt deeply injure me. maybe im just too sensitive to things said and done but i doubt i really am.

heh, when i started this entry i thought i had everything figured out, now i just realize that i am so confused. oh well, fuck it.