mistahprince

Today I said good-bye to all my friends, who didn't make it any easier. They sobbed, and I mean literally sobbed. And the worst about all of it is that I never knew how much people cared about me. Through all the hugs and kisses I never expected the pangs of regret that hit, and as much as I was ready to say good-bye, I never expected it to end like this. Just a peak and then free-fall off a cliff of memory and emotion. The hardest paln was seeing my seemingly unreciprocating ex, the one person I can point to that I can say that I absolutely loved, walk down the stairs out of the theater after we embraced for the last time, and just by looking at her I somehow felt that this was it. This was the end of it all.

I later found out that she spent the next hour out in that hall crying.

The finality of it all came to a close as I picked up the last bits of clothing I'd need down under at Marshall Fields.

I stepped onto the Blue Line for what will be the very last time and coasted to my hang-out, Filter, the perfect coffee shop in my mind, and sat there smoking with my coffee shop friends in a haze of exhaustion. My sister and her husband arrived and were absorbed into the group like they had all known them for years, and for the next three hours, until closing, we spoke of life, politics and what the future would mean. Best conversation of my life.

I end the night here, chronicaling this moment in hope of self-reconciliation. This idiosyncratic Cult of Vanity, as it were.

Above all trying to keep it together long enough to somehow make it across the planet to what the future will hold for me.