FOR FUN~
What do you get when you cross a deer with a pickle?
A dill doe
Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
Little Johnny goes on his first date. "How did it go?" his mom asked. "Great. I gave her an Australian kiss goodnight."
"What's an Australian kiss?"
"It's like a French kiss, but down under."
This guy went into a bar and ordered a beer. He happened to look down the bar and see a man sitting there with a head the size of a cue ball. So he walked down and said to the man, Excuse me sir, I don't mean to be rude but I noticed you have a small head. Is this a birth defect? The man said No, I got this in the war. My ship was torpedoed by the German's in WWII. I was the only survivor on the ship so I swam to shore. One day a mermaid swam up to me and said she would grant me three wishes. For my first wish I wanted to return to the U.S. The mermaid granted that wish. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Wish granted. My third wish was to have sex with the mermaid. She said, I can't grant that wish because mermaids can't have sex.
So I said, How about a little head?
Pulling Out
One day little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he could buy him a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, we have a $80,000 mortgage on the house, and you want me to buy you a bicycle? Wait until Christmas." Christmas came around, and Johnny asked again.The father said, "Well, the mortgage is still extremely high, sorry about that. Ask me again some other time." Well, about 2 days later, the boy was seen walking out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. The father felt sorry for him, and asked him why he was leaving. The boy said, "Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you say that you were pulling out, and mommy said that you should wait because she was coming too, and DAMN if I'll get stuck with an $80,000 mortgage!"
For God's sake, shake me. Shake me like a British nanny!
Come, ice cream. Come to my mouth. How dare you disobey me!
Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you, very homosexually.
What do you get when you cross a deer with a pickle?
A dill doe
Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
Little Johnny goes on his first date. "How did it go?" his mom asked. "Great. I gave her an Australian kiss goodnight."
"What's an Australian kiss?"
"It's like a French kiss, but down under."
This guy went into a bar and ordered a beer. He happened to look down the bar and see a man sitting there with a head the size of a cue ball. So he walked down and said to the man, Excuse me sir, I don't mean to be rude but I noticed you have a small head. Is this a birth defect? The man said No, I got this in the war. My ship was torpedoed by the German's in WWII. I was the only survivor on the ship so I swam to shore. One day a mermaid swam up to me and said she would grant me three wishes. For my first wish I wanted to return to the U.S. The mermaid granted that wish. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Wish granted. My third wish was to have sex with the mermaid. She said, I can't grant that wish because mermaids can't have sex.
So I said, How about a little head?
Pulling Out
One day little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he could buy him a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, we have a $80,000 mortgage on the house, and you want me to buy you a bicycle? Wait until Christmas." Christmas came around, and Johnny asked again.The father said, "Well, the mortgage is still extremely high, sorry about that. Ask me again some other time." Well, about 2 days later, the boy was seen walking out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. The father felt sorry for him, and asked him why he was leaving. The boy said, "Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you say that you were pulling out, and mommy said that you should wait because she was coming too, and DAMN if I'll get stuck with an $80,000 mortgage!"
For God's sake, shake me. Shake me like a British nanny!
Come, ice cream. Come to my mouth. How dare you disobey me!
Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you, very homosexually.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Where you been hiding the past couple days????