I have met some amazing people in my life. They made huuuge impacts on my life, as well as added to my character with every experience encountered with them. I love meeting people who I have impeccable chemistry with that is unexplainable. You know the types of people I'm talking about.
I met someone amazing when I was 14 years old. I was camping with a girlfriend up in the sticks of Ontario. It was late at night, really hyper and just stoked on life. Us 3 giddy girls, see 3 shadows/ figured of dudes. Me, being the immature, obnoxious teen I was yelled out "who the hell are you?!!?" one of them yelled back "two hot guys and a little guy". So I yelled back "Well come join the party then!" (even though there was no party haha)
My friend Vanessa (who I was with) whispered to me, "Just tell them we're all 15" I didn't want to. I hate lying, I've always been a terrible liar. I just can't do it, and there was something in my gut that told me I shouldn't... but because I wanted to be a "good friend" I lied... for her.
They came over and hung out with us. I felt the urge to interrogate them and dig deeper and find out more about these handsome boys who strolled our way. We walked around the camp grounds, walked along the beach in moon light. And I don't believe I've ever flirted so much with someone in all my life. I was BEGGING for this one particular boys attention. Rob Megson. He was tall, lanky, had braces and small squinty eyes and a loud silly laugh... and I couldn't be more attracted to him.
I didn't want the night to end.. but around 4am we were all getting pretty wore out so we went our separate ways. I had them give me their email addresses to keep in touch. I thought that our fun ended that night, and no real friendship (or more) would come of it. I figured, he lived in Toronto, I lived in Oakville. I was only 14! How I was suppose to travel back and forth for visits?! That's just too much to deal with to a 14 year old.
I randomly sent him an email.. and he sent one back. I found him extremely funny and charming. We had that connection. That unexplainable connection. The emails became longer and longer and longer to one another that it became a friendly competition to see who could write the longest email! hahah.. Then for fun we would write letters and include silly pictures, or photos of ourselves for the other to keep. We got to see each other about once a month, sometimes more... I would take the bus to the train, and then the train to the subway, and the subway onto a bus to go and see him. It would take almost 2 hours to find my way to him... but I was determined. The more I found out about this boy, the more my heart ached to see him.
We were in puppy love. I really believed he was my soul mate. But I was only 14, so I can't say for certain if what I felt was love, or infatuation.
One time we were hanging out... he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was stoked! And really confused. I couldn't start a relationship with this person with something lingering in the back of my mind... He didn't know I was 14. He thought I was a year older than I really was! I felt like if I told him that I lied right from the start, that he wouldn't like me anymore. I was so terrified to lose this wonderful connection with an amazing person... I needed him now. I had gotten in way too deep to get out. So I put up a wall.
The moment we were "together" I put up a wall. I wouldn't even sit on the same couch as him. I refused to kiss him and would say "I'm just not ready". The guilt was over whelming that it changed how I interacted with him, and he noticed how much I had changed towards him. We talked less and less, until not at all. It made my decision to move to Nova Scotia easier, knowing that we were no longer infatuated with each other. Although, deep down I still ached for him to want and need me in his life. But I fucked it all up.
He still doesn't know the truth, but at random times my conscience tells me to tell him. It's been 6 years since the happiest times of my life... and I still have dreams with him in it, that I tell him the truth and he's fine with it. There is a part of me that hates myself for not just saying "I made a mistake, I lied to you" and put it behind me. I'm still a terrible liar. But now I refuse to do it. I had ruined a wonderful relationship from one little lie. It festers in your mind which eventually fucks everything over.
I miss having a male companion that I could talk with for hours and hours, days and days and never run out of things to say. I haven't found that same quality in anyone else. I miss it.
I met someone amazing when I was 14 years old. I was camping with a girlfriend up in the sticks of Ontario. It was late at night, really hyper and just stoked on life. Us 3 giddy girls, see 3 shadows/ figured of dudes. Me, being the immature, obnoxious teen I was yelled out "who the hell are you?!!?" one of them yelled back "two hot guys and a little guy". So I yelled back "Well come join the party then!" (even though there was no party haha)
My friend Vanessa (who I was with) whispered to me, "Just tell them we're all 15" I didn't want to. I hate lying, I've always been a terrible liar. I just can't do it, and there was something in my gut that told me I shouldn't... but because I wanted to be a "good friend" I lied... for her.
They came over and hung out with us. I felt the urge to interrogate them and dig deeper and find out more about these handsome boys who strolled our way. We walked around the camp grounds, walked along the beach in moon light. And I don't believe I've ever flirted so much with someone in all my life. I was BEGGING for this one particular boys attention. Rob Megson. He was tall, lanky, had braces and small squinty eyes and a loud silly laugh... and I couldn't be more attracted to him.
I didn't want the night to end.. but around 4am we were all getting pretty wore out so we went our separate ways. I had them give me their email addresses to keep in touch. I thought that our fun ended that night, and no real friendship (or more) would come of it. I figured, he lived in Toronto, I lived in Oakville. I was only 14! How I was suppose to travel back and forth for visits?! That's just too much to deal with to a 14 year old.
I randomly sent him an email.. and he sent one back. I found him extremely funny and charming. We had that connection. That unexplainable connection. The emails became longer and longer and longer to one another that it became a friendly competition to see who could write the longest email! hahah.. Then for fun we would write letters and include silly pictures, or photos of ourselves for the other to keep. We got to see each other about once a month, sometimes more... I would take the bus to the train, and then the train to the subway, and the subway onto a bus to go and see him. It would take almost 2 hours to find my way to him... but I was determined. The more I found out about this boy, the more my heart ached to see him.
We were in puppy love. I really believed he was my soul mate. But I was only 14, so I can't say for certain if what I felt was love, or infatuation.
One time we were hanging out... he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was stoked! And really confused. I couldn't start a relationship with this person with something lingering in the back of my mind... He didn't know I was 14. He thought I was a year older than I really was! I felt like if I told him that I lied right from the start, that he wouldn't like me anymore. I was so terrified to lose this wonderful connection with an amazing person... I needed him now. I had gotten in way too deep to get out. So I put up a wall.
The moment we were "together" I put up a wall. I wouldn't even sit on the same couch as him. I refused to kiss him and would say "I'm just not ready". The guilt was over whelming that it changed how I interacted with him, and he noticed how much I had changed towards him. We talked less and less, until not at all. It made my decision to move to Nova Scotia easier, knowing that we were no longer infatuated with each other. Although, deep down I still ached for him to want and need me in his life. But I fucked it all up.
He still doesn't know the truth, but at random times my conscience tells me to tell him. It's been 6 years since the happiest times of my life... and I still have dreams with him in it, that I tell him the truth and he's fine with it. There is a part of me that hates myself for not just saying "I made a mistake, I lied to you" and put it behind me. I'm still a terrible liar. But now I refuse to do it. I had ruined a wonderful relationship from one little lie. It festers in your mind which eventually fucks everything over.
I miss having a male companion that I could talk with for hours and hours, days and days and never run out of things to say. I haven't found that same quality in anyone else. I miss it.