Everything I do is wrong. Every feeling I have is not warranted. I'm not allowed to be sensitive or react to anything. And when I don't react, by walking away, I get shit on for it. I can't win and it's so frustrating. I was bombarded with bull shit tonight. I have been under a lot of stress and feel very invaluable and I expressed myself very clearly this morning that I am a bit more sensitive right now, and instead of flying off the deep end, I should walk away and take a few moments to rationalize. But I can't even get that.
I want out of this bull shit. Every day I am told I am wrong for something else. I am talked down to and made to feel like nothing and then it turns out to be my own fault because I'm "immature".
Well, fuck you on that one. You came into this knowing I'm 8, almost 9 years younger than you. But you expect me to be someone I'm not.
If someone can't treat me like the person I want to be; if they can't accept me for who I am and know I still have to grow as a human and an adult, then I'm over it. I have faults and flaws just like anyone else. I know what they are and I try to work on them. But someone who has a problem with your existence doesn't care.
I don't understand why this is still going on.
Oh, and I get made fun of for coming to SG to vent. I don't have a single friend and I can't talk to him about our issues, because, well, he obviously has a biased opinion or it wouldn't be an issue.
I'm done caring so much.
I think I'll just go waste the money I was going to spend on a birthday/Christmas gift for him on a doctors appointment and new drugs.
Something's gotta give already.
And I get made fun of for crying and am called emo because of it. But I'm crying because I'm hurt. I'm sorry I can't just keep that inside and breathe through the pain, but I can't I cry because I am watching something I want fall apart right before my eyes. And there is nothing I can do about it. Like I said, no matter what I do, I can't win.
I want out of this bull shit. Every day I am told I am wrong for something else. I am talked down to and made to feel like nothing and then it turns out to be my own fault because I'm "immature".
Well, fuck you on that one. You came into this knowing I'm 8, almost 9 years younger than you. But you expect me to be someone I'm not.
If someone can't treat me like the person I want to be; if they can't accept me for who I am and know I still have to grow as a human and an adult, then I'm over it. I have faults and flaws just like anyone else. I know what they are and I try to work on them. But someone who has a problem with your existence doesn't care.
I don't understand why this is still going on.
Oh, and I get made fun of for coming to SG to vent. I don't have a single friend and I can't talk to him about our issues, because, well, he obviously has a biased opinion or it wouldn't be an issue.
I'm done caring so much.
I think I'll just go waste the money I was going to spend on a birthday/Christmas gift for him on a doctors appointment and new drugs.
Something's gotta give already.
And I get made fun of for crying and am called emo because of it. But I'm crying because I'm hurt. I'm sorry I can't just keep that inside and breathe through the pain, but I can't I cry because I am watching something I want fall apart right before my eyes. And there is nothing I can do about it. Like I said, no matter what I do, I can't win.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
romey666:
Get out of it, you are a good person and sounds like you could do a lot better.
0point7:
This may sound harsh, it is not my intent to be- if you feel unappreciated where you are, yet it hasn't reached the point where you are willing to change that situation, then perhaps you should get back to center with yourself. If you don't appreciate yourself enough to change what makes you unhappy, it's very unlikely that someone else will change it too, for you