Five years ago, when you were asked where you would be in five years, what was your response? I suppose most of you wouldn't have randomly been asked this question. I, was, however, and was asked quite a few times. I graduated high school five years ago, so it was a pretty frequent question.
Where did I see my self from years from five years ago? I sure as hell didn't think it would be here, sitting single on my couch, with tear stained cheeks kissing on my 3 week old son. I was working both in a salon and in an assisted living. I said I'd be working full time in a salon. What if I would have stayed that route instead of quitting both places when I started working in a bar. Where would my life be if I had never found Buffalo Wild Wings? I wouldn't be here. I would have never met Dustin and shared those moments with him; we would never have had our horrific breakup and I'd be a few ounces heavier with tears. I wouldn't have a three week old amazing little man named Aeson sitting here looking back at me making silly noises and faces. I'd still be driving my Focus, it'd be paid off. I bet I'd still be travelling the nation modeling for good money.
Do I regret what I've done, where I've been, the choices I've made? In a way, yes I do. I gave up a career in an ever-growing and highly successful and creative field for what? For the fast money I was getting at the bar. I was living at home and had nothing but a car payment (which I'm still making on a car I haven't driven in almost 4 years) and a cell phone bill.
I'm not singing a woe-is-me song, but I'm almost there. That wonderful, fast money job turned into a career, 4 months later I was pregnant, and now, I'm in the midst of losing my job all together. Losing my job means losing my house; my roof over our head. I have no one, not a soul, here to help me with my son. How the hell am I supposed to work? How the hell am I supposed to keep my sanity?
My mom keeps telling me how proud of me she is; how much I've matured in the last year. Thanks, ma. But dammit, that's not exactly what I want. What does it matter what I want though? She also kept telling my when I was pregnant (jokingly, or so she thought) once Aeson was born it will become, "#@*$& who?" That's so very true. He's become my whole world, it scares the shit outta me.
This is not at all, not even close to where I thought/wanted to be five years from five years ago. Are you happy where you ended up?
Where did I see my self from years from five years ago? I sure as hell didn't think it would be here, sitting single on my couch, with tear stained cheeks kissing on my 3 week old son. I was working both in a salon and in an assisted living. I said I'd be working full time in a salon. What if I would have stayed that route instead of quitting both places when I started working in a bar. Where would my life be if I had never found Buffalo Wild Wings? I wouldn't be here. I would have never met Dustin and shared those moments with him; we would never have had our horrific breakup and I'd be a few ounces heavier with tears. I wouldn't have a three week old amazing little man named Aeson sitting here looking back at me making silly noises and faces. I'd still be driving my Focus, it'd be paid off. I bet I'd still be travelling the nation modeling for good money.
Do I regret what I've done, where I've been, the choices I've made? In a way, yes I do. I gave up a career in an ever-growing and highly successful and creative field for what? For the fast money I was getting at the bar. I was living at home and had nothing but a car payment (which I'm still making on a car I haven't driven in almost 4 years) and a cell phone bill.
I'm not singing a woe-is-me song, but I'm almost there. That wonderful, fast money job turned into a career, 4 months later I was pregnant, and now, I'm in the midst of losing my job all together. Losing my job means losing my house; my roof over our head. I have no one, not a soul, here to help me with my son. How the hell am I supposed to work? How the hell am I supposed to keep my sanity?
My mom keeps telling me how proud of me she is; how much I've matured in the last year. Thanks, ma. But dammit, that's not exactly what I want. What does it matter what I want though? She also kept telling my when I was pregnant (jokingly, or so she thought) once Aeson was born it will become, "#@*$& who?" That's so very true. He's become my whole world, it scares the shit outta me.
This is not at all, not even close to where I thought/wanted to be five years from five years ago. Are you happy where you ended up?
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
It hasn't happened.