missmay

When I see those pictures of you it makes my heart hurt because I want to be the one who is putting that smile on your face. When I see the pictures of you two so happy together it makes me sad and really, it tears (tares, not teers) me up. When I see you after days, or weeks even, it feels like we were never apart. Everytime we talk, or with every message from you, every, "I love you," it feels like home. But, who am I? I can't say anything to you about how I feel. She has no clue about me and if she did, you'd just play me off like I was no one; nothing.
It kills me to know I came second. That's no one's fault. What if I would have been there first? Would someone else be in my shoes now? Would you be telling another you love her so? I just don't like the back burner; I don't like second best. I don't like you ignoring my call when you're with her, or calling me before you see her, when she's asleep, or on your way home from her. I don't like you hanging up with me when she calls so she doesn't get suspicious.
I don't like knowing you're happy with her when I know you're happy with me. It's not like you're cheating on her, though. We've never kissed, we've never touched or embraced, we've never even been alone in the same room. It's not fair to me to be strung along and it's most definitely not fair to you for me to be selfish.
I just don't know if I can do it anymore.