missmay

its officially official. i need to rant. and i need to rant something fierce. there is way too much on my mind for my own good. i am flying off the handle. the fact that im getting over an addiction to pain pills doesnt help at all either. the ex is suicidal and im being brought in the middle and then dragged around. my family is, for the strangest reason becoming best friends with him. i dont get it. how am i supposed to feel about that?! it just has me really thrown off. i have a new guy who im not going to rush into anything with but im not about to back down from what we have. like i said when i was drunk a couple weeks ago, he's awesome. and he is also worried about lance. everyone worries about lance. lance is my best friend. maybe in 10 years if we're not married or in serious relationships he and i will have babies. you know kinda like a last resort prom date. i would die for him. and that gets me in trouble. it gets me in trouble if i say anything and then if i dont. i get walked on by that 40 year old bitch. she rubs it in my face that he sympathy fucks her. i dont need to know that. and you dont need to think its cool. lance gets his and he gets it when he wants it. but not from me anymore. i finally put my foot down. im not gonna let him hurt me anymore.
i miss my daddy. i cant help but think of him lately. gosh, its been four years and it just seems like it was yesterday i got out of his car and said bye. it will be four years feb. 13. it was friday the 13th. i'll never forget it.
i have hair color in my hair and my sexxie boy is coming over. i gotta go get naked.
fuck this all.
love you bitches <--thats a cock hah