So, tomorrow is the london Blackheart Burlesque Auditions...
I really wanted to go. I passed Pineapple studios today actually whilst in London. Infact, I often pass by.
Sadly, despite it being a dream of mine since I was like 17 to do burlesque suicidegirls style I won't be attending :(
It makes my heart feel heavy that I won't be going... But, I think at this time it's the right decision for me.
I used to do burlesque for quite a few years. Plus dancing in clubs. I love to perform. I miss it a huge deal.
I remember watching the SG first tour DVD. It actually featured 2 ex SGs that I know in person who I adore. I really longed to be apart of it.
But my reasons for not attending are:
1. I'm afraid I can't dance to the standard required. I have never danced "commercial" style which is how I deem the style of dance I've seen in the audition videos up. It looks sexy and cool but I don't feel they would find me suitable because of that :(
2. I run businesses and have a hectic life so I'm unsure if I'm able to just drop everything right now if there is to be a tour of it. :(
3. My anxiety... I get horrendous pre stage nerves. I'm always fine on stage but it's the before hand that kills me.
I'm really gutted but I feel it's the best decision to make right now. And if I went and low and behold they did want me but then said "oh hey you now have to tour with us for so long" can I logically actually drop everything in my life right now?... Most likely not :( so I wouldn't want to be a let down.
I know I sound like I'm thinking too much about things.... Oh well. Maybe there will be another time in my life... I sure hope so....
Hope I've made the right decision to not attend.... :( :(
