Yesterday at work I had to edit a very humorous book. It was a bodice ripper that was written in 1984. Here are some lines from it, which are chock full of euphemisms of the human anatomy. I hope that you all enjoy them as much as I DIDN'T!
"Behind the fly of his snug-fitting jeans was profound evidence of his sex."
"His se was full and surging behind his underwear"....." 'I fell funny on the inside.' she confessed"
"His loins were throbbing."
"Then his fingers encountered her fleecy delta and luxuriated in it. He laid his palm over it and let his fingers curve downward between her thighs. They came away dewy with her desire."
"They watched each other, watched the play of intense feeling flicker across one another's faces each time the velvety tip of his manhood touched that magic spot."
" 'Now, Rink, please.' His whole body straining, he introduced himself into the warm harbor between her thighs and lowered himself upon her. Her pressed deep, deeper,until...... 'Caroline'...'You're a virgin.'
'Yes, Yes'.....'I've always been yours, Rink. Only yours. Claim me.' "
"They sighed together with supreme emotion as he sank completely into her. He filled her. She gloved him."
"He began to move. Out of deference to her, his thrusts were shallow and slow, but no less potent as they drew her closer to a magical sphere."
" 'Caroline....Caroline.' He could repress his mounting passions no longer, reaching the summit, he experienced the highest level of ecstasy he had ever known. It went on and on as his lifeforce pumped into her. And when it was over, he collapsed, spent and sated and loved, into her welcoming arms."
"He guided her down to straddle his lap and his hard virility was sheathed by her mystery."
"He reached higher and higher, to the very gate of her womb."
Now for one more quote from As Good As It Gets, when he walks into that restaurant and the people are speaking using metaphors.
"People who use metaphors should shampoo my crotch."
At least I think that is how the line went.
"Behind the fly of his snug-fitting jeans was profound evidence of his sex."
"His se was full and surging behind his underwear"....." 'I fell funny on the inside.' she confessed"
"His loins were throbbing."
"Then his fingers encountered her fleecy delta and luxuriated in it. He laid his palm over it and let his fingers curve downward between her thighs. They came away dewy with her desire."
"They watched each other, watched the play of intense feeling flicker across one another's faces each time the velvety tip of his manhood touched that magic spot."
" 'Now, Rink, please.' His whole body straining, he introduced himself into the warm harbor between her thighs and lowered himself upon her. Her pressed deep, deeper,until...... 'Caroline'...'You're a virgin.'
'Yes, Yes'.....'I've always been yours, Rink. Only yours. Claim me.' "
"They sighed together with supreme emotion as he sank completely into her. He filled her. She gloved him."
"He began to move. Out of deference to her, his thrusts were shallow and slow, but no less potent as they drew her closer to a magical sphere."
" 'Caroline....Caroline.' He could repress his mounting passions no longer, reaching the summit, he experienced the highest level of ecstasy he had ever known. It went on and on as his lifeforce pumped into her. And when it was over, he collapsed, spent and sated and loved, into her welcoming arms."
"He guided her down to straddle his lap and his hard virility was sheathed by her mystery."
"He reached higher and higher, to the very gate of her womb."
Now for one more quote from As Good As It Gets, when he walks into that restaurant and the people are speaking using metaphors.
"People who use metaphors should shampoo my crotch."
At least I think that is how the line went.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
Must be 4AM. I'm getting too literal again.