I don't have any words.
I wish I was one of those appallingly talented writer-types who could spew all my thoughts and issues out onto the internet and be done with them. But alas, no. Every time I sit down to write a new journal my mind clouds over and any articulation I possess goes out the window so that all that comes out is "today I did this" or "look what I made". It's kind of dull.
...
When I was about 14 one of my friends had a book on personology. It basically combined astrology, history and numerology to "reveal" a person's strengths, weaknesses, and general personality traits based on their birth date. Each day had a two page essay about the person, a list of their three main strengths and weaknesses (in case you couldn't be bothered reading the whole thing) and a title that tried to describe the person. Incidentally, I'm pretty certain that the boy I had a crush on at the time was born on the Day of The Mystic Maverick, what ever that means. Anyway, it wasn't the most precise of sciences but it was entertainingly accurate in the way that horoscopes can be and my friends and I spent a good month or two looking up everyone we knew.
Recently, while I was searching through a big suitcase of pictures, I found a long forgotten summary of my birth date's profile that my friend had made for me and it's creepily relevant. I'm not taking it as something that's set in stone, there are certainly many facets of my sparkling personality that it neglects to mention, but when it lists my three main personality weaknesses as complacent, destructive and indulgent I can't help but take a little bit of notice. Not to mention that I am officially born on the Day of The Heartbreaker. It's all a little close to the bone.
Long story short, I've played a part in making a mess and I'm not quite sure how to fix it. If I look at it logically I can see that time will heal most of the wounds but it's kind of difficult to follow when most of the time all I want to do is make it worse. I've never been very good at not getting what I want (see the above indulgence) and I'm beginning to drive myself insane. What's a girl to do?
...
On an unrelated, a far more cheerful, note, I've booked a flight to travel to far away lands at the end of the year. It's all very exciting. I'll be back in the UK (finally!) for a month as of the 10th of December, from where I will venture to Florence, Berlin and Stockholm, then on to New York, San Francisco and Tokyo. If anyone feels like letting me sleep on their couch or has any suggestions of where to go and what to do tell me! Tell me now so I can start procrastinating with planning!
Well, that was quite a lot of words considering the first paragraph. How are you, anyway?
I wish I was one of those appallingly talented writer-types who could spew all my thoughts and issues out onto the internet and be done with them. But alas, no. Every time I sit down to write a new journal my mind clouds over and any articulation I possess goes out the window so that all that comes out is "today I did this" or "look what I made". It's kind of dull.
...
When I was about 14 one of my friends had a book on personology. It basically combined astrology, history and numerology to "reveal" a person's strengths, weaknesses, and general personality traits based on their birth date. Each day had a two page essay about the person, a list of their three main strengths and weaknesses (in case you couldn't be bothered reading the whole thing) and a title that tried to describe the person. Incidentally, I'm pretty certain that the boy I had a crush on at the time was born on the Day of The Mystic Maverick, what ever that means. Anyway, it wasn't the most precise of sciences but it was entertainingly accurate in the way that horoscopes can be and my friends and I spent a good month or two looking up everyone we knew.
Recently, while I was searching through a big suitcase of pictures, I found a long forgotten summary of my birth date's profile that my friend had made for me and it's creepily relevant. I'm not taking it as something that's set in stone, there are certainly many facets of my sparkling personality that it neglects to mention, but when it lists my three main personality weaknesses as complacent, destructive and indulgent I can't help but take a little bit of notice. Not to mention that I am officially born on the Day of The Heartbreaker. It's all a little close to the bone.
Long story short, I've played a part in making a mess and I'm not quite sure how to fix it. If I look at it logically I can see that time will heal most of the wounds but it's kind of difficult to follow when most of the time all I want to do is make it worse. I've never been very good at not getting what I want (see the above indulgence) and I'm beginning to drive myself insane. What's a girl to do?
...
On an unrelated, a far more cheerful, note, I've booked a flight to travel to far away lands at the end of the year. It's all very exciting. I'll be back in the UK (finally!) for a month as of the 10th of December, from where I will venture to Florence, Berlin and Stockholm, then on to New York, San Francisco and Tokyo. If anyone feels like letting me sleep on their couch or has any suggestions of where to go and what to do tell me! Tell me now so I can start procrastinating with planning!
Well, that was quite a lot of words considering the first paragraph. How are you, anyway?
Not getting what you want can really suck, but often-times, despite the insanity of the now, the long term benefits that come from control do outway the whatever you're missing out in the then that was. That is to say, the right thing to do is often the hardest thing to do, and it's usually the fact that it is hard that makes it right, cause if it weren't right, it wouldn't be hard. Right?
The other thing we learn from this is that it only takes five of those pre-mixed Sky drink thingys that kinda taste like vomit to turn mark into a complete text-based wanker. Also, they make him forgetful, and he ends up txtering people who's phones he knows don't work ... sorry bout that.
p.s. I have an interview regarding a potential position in management on monday. I may need to borrow your hip-flask.
I'm envious of your trip. Maybe with paid holidays I'll be able to do some proper travel at last... but in the mean time, yeah some training in Solaris (a type of UNIX), enterprise storage networks, and edge security. Sounds kinda technical, huh?