I had the most fucked up night last night.
A bunch of my friends were tripping hardcore on shrooms, and i was so stoned i was hallucinating..
We had a run-in with the RA and had to make a daring escape (i.e. run for the stairs), and we all sorta didn't know what was going on and got split up. I had to go find them like 4 blocks away; they were just kinda walking back and forth for 20 minutes while I looked for them.
Then after things had sorta quieted down a bit we snuck back into the dorm and staged a last stand in Joey's Room (even though in reality the RAs weren't actually after us). It was fuckin' crazy.
Plus after when they were coming down and I was sorta sitting in my room, one of my other friends sorta wandered in, totally wasted, and passed out on my bed. Awkward.
I totally wish I had taken pictures.. So much shit went down, and there's a lot that I don't think I really remeber. Andreas thought he could climb the walls.
Tonight I guess I'm just sorta sitting around though. It kinda sucks. All of my friends are off doing random things tonight and I either have no interest in them or have no means of getting there. Whatever. It's not like I don't waste enough time sitting around in my room to be used to it.
It kinda sucks though. I still kinda miss my boyfriend; usually by now I'm like "yeah, whatever!" and I don't care, but this semester it's kinda different.
Like, I actually stopped what I was doing last night to go talk to him (at first because I wanted to, then because he was all upset and shit). I even called him. That's not something that happened last semester; I just got mad because he kept me from doing things with my friends pretty much all the time.
He thinks I'm jealous (because he spends all of his time with bessie and his boyfriend, which is sort of a replacement relationship - mostly i'm just mildly annoyed because it's not fair. if i did that he'd get really pissed at me); in reality I'm just not used to what I'm feeling and I don't know how to handle it. I should be over my post-adam-visit depression by now. I don't think I ever really missed him last semester like I do right now. Honestly I'm not sure I really loved him as much last semester as I do now after having lived with him for a couple months. Not that I didn't love him, that's not what I'm saying. It just wasn't really the same.
I mean, I'm still having a grand old time chilling with my friends and stuff. I guess I'm just in a bad mood because I felt so good last night and I saw all of my friends and had someone to cuddle drunkenly with (well, until I actually really needed to sleep; then I left and went to Joey's room), and now I'm kinda lonely. I bet that's how people get addicted to pot (not that I am; I'm specifically not smoking tonight because I did so much last night).
For probably the first time I'm not sad or anything, but I'd really prefer to just stay in for a while and talk to Adam, but like I said he's off doing things. I refuse to be the controlling girlfriend who's like "no, I don't care that you made plans with other people because I want you to sit here and talk to me instead because I'm the only important thing in your life." He pulled that on me a couple times last semester (with varying degrees of success) and I don't want to do it.
Ok, I guess I'll stop ranting now. There's no real reason for me to be sitting around in self-pity. It's not like I couldn't find someone to hang out with; I'm in a college dorm.. I just don't feel like drinking or smoking up or anything, which makes it hard to find people to hang out with on a Saturday night. However, it's my decision so I may as well make the best of it rather than feel sorry for myself.
I'm going to go make a sandwich.
A bunch of my friends were tripping hardcore on shrooms, and i was so stoned i was hallucinating..
We had a run-in with the RA and had to make a daring escape (i.e. run for the stairs), and we all sorta didn't know what was going on and got split up. I had to go find them like 4 blocks away; they were just kinda walking back and forth for 20 minutes while I looked for them.
Then after things had sorta quieted down a bit we snuck back into the dorm and staged a last stand in Joey's Room (even though in reality the RAs weren't actually after us). It was fuckin' crazy.
Plus after when they were coming down and I was sorta sitting in my room, one of my other friends sorta wandered in, totally wasted, and passed out on my bed. Awkward.
I totally wish I had taken pictures.. So much shit went down, and there's a lot that I don't think I really remeber. Andreas thought he could climb the walls.
Tonight I guess I'm just sorta sitting around though. It kinda sucks. All of my friends are off doing random things tonight and I either have no interest in them or have no means of getting there. Whatever. It's not like I don't waste enough time sitting around in my room to be used to it.
It kinda sucks though. I still kinda miss my boyfriend; usually by now I'm like "yeah, whatever!" and I don't care, but this semester it's kinda different.
Like, I actually stopped what I was doing last night to go talk to him (at first because I wanted to, then because he was all upset and shit). I even called him. That's not something that happened last semester; I just got mad because he kept me from doing things with my friends pretty much all the time.
He thinks I'm jealous (because he spends all of his time with bessie and his boyfriend, which is sort of a replacement relationship - mostly i'm just mildly annoyed because it's not fair. if i did that he'd get really pissed at me); in reality I'm just not used to what I'm feeling and I don't know how to handle it. I should be over my post-adam-visit depression by now. I don't think I ever really missed him last semester like I do right now. Honestly I'm not sure I really loved him as much last semester as I do now after having lived with him for a couple months. Not that I didn't love him, that's not what I'm saying. It just wasn't really the same.
I mean, I'm still having a grand old time chilling with my friends and stuff. I guess I'm just in a bad mood because I felt so good last night and I saw all of my friends and had someone to cuddle drunkenly with (well, until I actually really needed to sleep; then I left and went to Joey's room), and now I'm kinda lonely. I bet that's how people get addicted to pot (not that I am; I'm specifically not smoking tonight because I did so much last night).
For probably the first time I'm not sad or anything, but I'd really prefer to just stay in for a while and talk to Adam, but like I said he's off doing things. I refuse to be the controlling girlfriend who's like "no, I don't care that you made plans with other people because I want you to sit here and talk to me instead because I'm the only important thing in your life." He pulled that on me a couple times last semester (with varying degrees of success) and I don't want to do it.
Ok, I guess I'll stop ranting now. There's no real reason for me to be sitting around in self-pity. It's not like I couldn't find someone to hang out with; I'm in a college dorm.. I just don't feel like drinking or smoking up or anything, which makes it hard to find people to hang out with on a Saturday night. However, it's my decision so I may as well make the best of it rather than feel sorry for myself.
I'm going to go make a sandwich.
jj_r0x0rz:
metro.met is the best
captainfetus:
You said some really sweet things, I love you too.......but you left out the halucunation and cuddling when you told me about it. You shouldn't smoke so much. anyway....I wish you would tell me these things when you sit on the phone not talking because you claim to have nothing to say, yet you have plenty to say right here......