Wednesday Aug 09, 2006

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I learnt something this week. Its that the majority of the people that contaminate this world with their presence really really are nothing more than blood sucking parasites. I swear, the amount of people that hate me Percentage wise, is just scary. I am hated by so many people. People who dont even know me hate me. Its staggering! There is a short time span that any one person can remain friends with me until the 'Halo Hater' Disease hits them. Every moment of my life I have been afflicted by this. Why? I dont know
So . I am taking this opportunity to announce that I am changing myself. The old me, emotional, loud, Honest and crazy, was clearly too much for the world. Im not sure how the new me will be, But hopefully I'll be able to keep friends for longer than 5 minutes. (Just so you know, I fight to the death for my friends, give them everything, Show them a good time no matter what, And they just chew me up and fuck off) skull
So, I need your help in creating my new mask. What do people want? Whats makes aperson rock? Should I perhaps be more vacuous? Ditch the intelligece and opinions? Perhaps stop wearing all black and wear the hot pink tank tops so i blend in? (How fucking weird is that? Fluro makes you blend in, black makes you stand out?) Maybe I should give up my values and self respect and not punch the guy thart feels me up at the pub and fuck him instead? Or maybe I should harp on and on about how beautiful i am and how everyones boyfriend wants me... I shit you not, thats what the people I know are like. And they think I am SCUM. Why????
Now while I fumble with the key to the gun cabinet and a very sad heart and hurt feelings, I reflect on the lonliness and pain humans have inflicted upon me Hey, this is my journal, I can rant and whine all i like!!! I have fought and inflicted pain on people myself, Hell I once stabbed a girl with a compass, But scars are rad. Its emotional pain that really hurts. But I dont understand for a second what I have done to deserve this treatment.
Sigh. People suck. and hard. I'm gonna go watch European Legions and drink coffee. Goodnight Darlings skull skull
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
eternalpain75:
The only person you should change for is yourself. If your happy with yourself, fuck what everyone else thinks. Compromises are for weak people with no heart, and I know thats not you....even though I havent met you, or known you that long.

People say they want honesty all the time, but when someone is honest with them they don't like it. I'm in the same boat with you there. The truth is all important to me, weather its good or bad. Most of the world views polite people as being nice, when the true meaning of a nice person is someone who is selfless and goes out of their way to do something for someone else, and wants nothing in return (someone most people will take advantage of). So it is the honest man/woman that is viewed as the asshole, and thats fine with me....I sleep better knowing i'm not a fake, scum sucking, waste of flesh biggrin

Chin up girly, don't let the (real) assholes get you down kiss
xtlbx:
i feel for you my girl, although changing ones personality aint as easy at it seems, it damn hard work, i can hardly keep it up for night. I have changed my ways, people hate me because i am too nice, but they do not realise my kindness is genuine, its in my nature, the way i have been brought up, i have tried to change cos i just get sick of people abusing kindness and then turning a cold shoulder when i need them. I have realised that i dont want to change and would much rather be lonely and stay true to myself,
i wish you my luck in your quest but changing aint the solution i am afraid to say.

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