misha9999999

I have so much to say. Few words to express it. And
even fewer people to say it to.

if you ever need to talk.. im me.. email me. whatever.

trust me. sometimes i feel that being alone is eating me up inside. and for the most part, im not alone. i live in a house with 5 other people.

i have a lot of acquaintences.. and a few good friends. and by society's standards.. i have nothing to be unhappy about. instead.. i find my heart hurts. it's like an open wound.. seeping.. or a cancer inside my chest growing.

some days i feel like its eating me alive.. that it might swallow me all up if i didn't stop it.. and that i can't get out of bed..

but then there are days when i dont feel it. and i miss it. i miss that pain and hurt and longing.. because i feel like thats the hurt that makes me want to connect with people.

but im tired of the superficial connections. i want.. more than that. i want to know if theres a person out there that can fill my void. and that's a lot to place on another person.. especially someone who i don't even know exists. blah blah blah. and i cry.

[Edited on Jan 07, 2003]