mirima

I wish I hadn't royally fucked up with the girl I had been dating...Jen. She was utterly amazing. Perfect for me. I miss her. I miss touching her, and cuddling with her, and holding her hand. She liked me, and cared about me, and didn't judge me. She was such a catch, and I totally fucked up. I just wish I could be what we both want me to be. There's a part of me, the vanilla part of me, that wants to be monogamous just as much as she wants me to. It hurts that I can't be with her. It hurts that at this moment, we're not right for each other. I care about her so much, and care about her family. We just got along so well. I'm in pain when I think about her...my heart breaks a little.
I told her how I felt, but I'm not sure what good it did. I guess I have some things to think about.