mirima

My Nanie, Alice Virginia Grasselli, died this evening, a little before nine. As of Sunday this past weekend, she was unresponsive, and refused to eat or drink. She didn't want any more hospitalizations, and just wanted to go. She was tired of fighting. My family and I visited her on Monday night. We watched her sleep, peacefully, or so we hoped. She was on morphine to help her breath comfortably, and she looked comfortable at least. Today they upped her morphine, and that slowed down her breathing, and she passed just before nine this evening.

This is the second death we've had in the family in less than six months. My uncle Joe killed himself in May. My aunt, my mom's sister, is a wreck, and even more so now. I feel this overwhelming responsibility to do something when people are grieving. Its the only way I can cope.

Right now I just feel lost, and all I can do is right, and stay inside my head where its safe. I wonder when things will get better. I wonder when we'll come out of the darkness.