So, what can I say. I don't think a day has gone by lately where at some stage I haven't suffered a terrible Monkey ninja assasination attempt. As awesome as it sounds believe me it get's tiring!
Apparently I was in a Zoo a while back and stupidly made some comment about a certain monkey doing something nasty to himself. It was funny at the time and come to think of it, it's still funny now. But the Monkey Protection Guild heard of this and held a meeting to decide my future. Might I also add that I wasn't allowed to represent myself and the expenditure of 5,000 worth of banana's for my monkey solicitor now seems a massive waste!
Being a man of principle I refused to apologise to the monkey, at which point he threw his poo at me. Now, i don't know about you, but that to me is just not on! I stormed out covered in Monkey poo and smelling...well...okay a bit better than my aftershave.
In my absence, they appraently hired a Monkey Ninja Assassin to sort me out.
I first noticed it when I saw a monkey put a banana in a car's tailpipe. I don't drive so this confused me. Apparently from what I hear this monkey ninja assassin had an obsession with Beverly Hills Cop! The next one came close...he was dedicated...he swallowed Ninja Stars and pooed them out so he could throw lethal ninja star monkey poo at me...I was lucky in that I was in a crowd...3 people not so lucky. Then they tried the classic Monkey honey trap...anyway, lets not go there.
It's now got to the stage where I've had to bring in outside help. Where else could I go but the 25th Squirral Light Infantry. These guys are the best. Their history goes back at least 125 years back protecting Nuts. Read into that what you will!
So, here I am, surrounded by armed Squirrals awaiting the Ninja Monkey
If you don't hear from me again...the Ninja Monkey got me...and the Squirrals are gone....
And can you put the bins out please....
Apparently I was in a Zoo a while back and stupidly made some comment about a certain monkey doing something nasty to himself. It was funny at the time and come to think of it, it's still funny now. But the Monkey Protection Guild heard of this and held a meeting to decide my future. Might I also add that I wasn't allowed to represent myself and the expenditure of 5,000 worth of banana's for my monkey solicitor now seems a massive waste!
Being a man of principle I refused to apologise to the monkey, at which point he threw his poo at me. Now, i don't know about you, but that to me is just not on! I stormed out covered in Monkey poo and smelling...well...okay a bit better than my aftershave.
In my absence, they appraently hired a Monkey Ninja Assassin to sort me out.
I first noticed it when I saw a monkey put a banana in a car's tailpipe. I don't drive so this confused me. Apparently from what I hear this monkey ninja assassin had an obsession with Beverly Hills Cop! The next one came close...he was dedicated...he swallowed Ninja Stars and pooed them out so he could throw lethal ninja star monkey poo at me...I was lucky in that I was in a crowd...3 people not so lucky. Then they tried the classic Monkey honey trap...anyway, lets not go there.
It's now got to the stage where I've had to bring in outside help. Where else could I go but the 25th Squirral Light Infantry. These guys are the best. Their history goes back at least 125 years back protecting Nuts. Read into that what you will!
So, here I am, surrounded by armed Squirrals awaiting the Ninja Monkey
If you don't hear from me again...the Ninja Monkey got me...and the Squirrals are gone....
And can you put the bins out please....