So Last night i hung out with Emptymouthpiece and watched scary movies. To be honest i think i enjoyed our commentary, more then the movies.. lol definatly good times!
So i got home a little after 4, but i was wide awake, so i grabed a blanket and went and picked up some coffee and some doughnut holes. Then I drove to the top of waterman and parked on a lookout point off the mountain. Sat on the hood of my car and watched the sun come up.
It was nice to have the alone time, ive had alot on mind lately and it was nice to just sit and think about it with no distractions.. i never thought i would enjoy dwelling on my problems so much... but it turned out to be a good thing, i finnally got to cry over it.. with no one around.. no one to question or bug. Just me.
Im the kind of person who puts up a front, i play the part well, like everything is ok...even though my mind is racing. Ive been so stressed lately, and i really just needed to let it all out. Im tierd of being the silent observer, the person that has to smile and pretend that im alright, the person that isnt allowed to be emotional. I was raised to hide my feelings, to put on my brave face and act strong. When is it okay to stop that, how much do i have to take before its okay to brake, when can i just be okay with being me, with no walls, and no gaurds, and no fronts.
This probably doesnt make any sense to anyone else... but i needed to get it off my chest.
So i got home a little after 4, but i was wide awake, so i grabed a blanket and went and picked up some coffee and some doughnut holes. Then I drove to the top of waterman and parked on a lookout point off the mountain. Sat on the hood of my car and watched the sun come up.
It was nice to have the alone time, ive had alot on mind lately and it was nice to just sit and think about it with no distractions.. i never thought i would enjoy dwelling on my problems so much... but it turned out to be a good thing, i finnally got to cry over it.. with no one around.. no one to question or bug. Just me.
Im the kind of person who puts up a front, i play the part well, like everything is ok...even though my mind is racing. Ive been so stressed lately, and i really just needed to let it all out. Im tierd of being the silent observer, the person that has to smile and pretend that im alright, the person that isnt allowed to be emotional. I was raised to hide my feelings, to put on my brave face and act strong. When is it okay to stop that, how much do i have to take before its okay to brake, when can i just be okay with being me, with no walls, and no gaurds, and no fronts.
This probably doesnt make any sense to anyone else... but i needed to get it off my chest.
love
I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers. ~Henry David Thoreau, "Solitude," Walden, 1854