Women love confident guys. Women love guys who can make them laugh. Being the cutest guy in the room isn't always going to impress people. A charming personality goes a long way.
For years I relied heavily on my personality and sense of humor. I've never been a great looking guy, but I have been fortunate to have met and dated some very beautiful women. Maybe they just liked my cooking.
Argentina hasn't been so good to me and I struggle to understand why. The women here are stunningly beautiful (although slightly more crazy than what I'm used to in the US). They game playing is even more complicated than I'm used to and to be quite honest I'm really not into that whole thing at all. I admit I am overweight and have been trying successfully to work on that problem. In the last year I have lost about 20 lbs - 8 kilos or so. I still need to lose more to get to where I want, but it'll happen in time. I'm not going to stress over that.
What bothers me the most though is not being able to make people laugh. I see something funny or have a thought in my head and because of the language barrier I can't express myself. Don't get me wrong I'm getting pretty good with basic conversational Spanish it's just that the delivery when you are trying to tell a joke is important and needs to be quick and witty. Which is much harder when you have to stop in the middle of the sentence and think about the word you mean to say or what is the right verb tense. It's really fucked with my confidence.
It would be easy to say take a course in Spanish. I have been. I started with Pimsler, an audio course that taught basic Spanish. It was nearly useless in Argentina where the language that is actually spoken is far more colorful and full of slang. I switched to Rosetta Stone Latina American version and it was too much like a child's game for me and I couldn't work with it. I found a different program called Bueno, entonces.. which was specifically Argentinian Spanish. It was fun, fast, and easy to use. It's only downfall is that it only teaches you enough to get up to speed. Not the stuff you'll really need to be fluent. Verbs are taught in the present tense and in Spanish the verbs are incredibly complicated.
I also listen to a ton of music in Spanish. Mala Rodriguez, Damas Gratis, Soledad Villamil, Bomba Stereo, Sistema Solar, plus tons of tango music. I learn the words and sing along to work on my pronunciation.
I have watched nearly every Argentinian film I could find. And many of them have been really good. It's also a great way to learn about the history and culture of the country where I am living.
My Facebook page, my computer language, my phone, my mp3 player are all in Spanish. I read every billboard I pass to and from work.
Most people take years to learn a language. I'm trying to get it done in half the time. I know where my weaknesses are. I don't have a very good grasp of the grammar yet, I need to work on my verb tenses more, and, of course, expand my vocabulary. And I think the majority of people learn a language before
they move to another country. I have never been known to take the easy road.
Sure it might be easier to learn if I took a course with an actual teacher, instead of trying to teach myself, but I have never been comfortable with tests and grades and all that. Trust me, my test is every day in the street, when I take a taxi, when I eat in a restaurant, when I try to hit on a girl. I don't need a letter grade to tell me how I'm doing.
And my friends here that speak English get upset with me when I am with them. They say I don't speak enough Spanish when I talk to them. I have tried explaining that I need to rest my brain once in a while. That it actually hurts, real physical pain to think in Spanish all the time. I don't think that they went through the same thing when they were learning English because they took it in school for one part of the day and the rest was spent speaking in their native tongue. I can't escape Spanish here.
Anyway, the point of this all is that I'm very frustrated that I can't make people laugh like I used to and it's messing with my head. And my sex life.
For years I relied heavily on my personality and sense of humor. I've never been a great looking guy, but I have been fortunate to have met and dated some very beautiful women. Maybe they just liked my cooking.
Argentina hasn't been so good to me and I struggle to understand why. The women here are stunningly beautiful (although slightly more crazy than what I'm used to in the US). They game playing is even more complicated than I'm used to and to be quite honest I'm really not into that whole thing at all. I admit I am overweight and have been trying successfully to work on that problem. In the last year I have lost about 20 lbs - 8 kilos or so. I still need to lose more to get to where I want, but it'll happen in time. I'm not going to stress over that.
What bothers me the most though is not being able to make people laugh. I see something funny or have a thought in my head and because of the language barrier I can't express myself. Don't get me wrong I'm getting pretty good with basic conversational Spanish it's just that the delivery when you are trying to tell a joke is important and needs to be quick and witty. Which is much harder when you have to stop in the middle of the sentence and think about the word you mean to say or what is the right verb tense. It's really fucked with my confidence.
It would be easy to say take a course in Spanish. I have been. I started with Pimsler, an audio course that taught basic Spanish. It was nearly useless in Argentina where the language that is actually spoken is far more colorful and full of slang. I switched to Rosetta Stone Latina American version and it was too much like a child's game for me and I couldn't work with it. I found a different program called Bueno, entonces.. which was specifically Argentinian Spanish. It was fun, fast, and easy to use. It's only downfall is that it only teaches you enough to get up to speed. Not the stuff you'll really need to be fluent. Verbs are taught in the present tense and in Spanish the verbs are incredibly complicated.
I also listen to a ton of music in Spanish. Mala Rodriguez, Damas Gratis, Soledad Villamil, Bomba Stereo, Sistema Solar, plus tons of tango music. I learn the words and sing along to work on my pronunciation.
I have watched nearly every Argentinian film I could find. And many of them have been really good. It's also a great way to learn about the history and culture of the country where I am living.
My Facebook page, my computer language, my phone, my mp3 player are all in Spanish. I read every billboard I pass to and from work.
Most people take years to learn a language. I'm trying to get it done in half the time. I know where my weaknesses are. I don't have a very good grasp of the grammar yet, I need to work on my verb tenses more, and, of course, expand my vocabulary. And I think the majority of people learn a language before
they move to another country. I have never been known to take the easy road.
Sure it might be easier to learn if I took a course with an actual teacher, instead of trying to teach myself, but I have never been comfortable with tests and grades and all that. Trust me, my test is every day in the street, when I take a taxi, when I eat in a restaurant, when I try to hit on a girl. I don't need a letter grade to tell me how I'm doing.
And my friends here that speak English get upset with me when I am with them. They say I don't speak enough Spanish when I talk to them. I have tried explaining that I need to rest my brain once in a while. That it actually hurts, real physical pain to think in Spanish all the time. I don't think that they went through the same thing when they were learning English because they took it in school for one part of the day and the rest was spent speaking in their native tongue. I can't escape Spanish here.
Anyway, the point of this all is that I'm very frustrated that I can't make people laugh like I used to and it's messing with my head. And my sex life.
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This sounds stupid and cliche, but it will take time and the best way to learn is to practice and you will pick it up eventually.